Bridgewater Soccer Mom's view of the world

After the events of the weekend, I felt like I needed to escape into some movies. A few weeks ago C and I started to watch Peggy Sue Got Married together  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aj9hDe8VhpU . It was strange. I had seen it lots of times... but through teenage eyes. I related to the young Peggy Sue. Sharing it with my 13-year old was surreal (and a little weird, I had to go check something in the kitchen during the somewhat hot-n-heavy portions). We watched the end of it and it was enjoyable, but strange. Lots of these coming of age movies are strange to see now that I'm on the other side of the age spectrum. Sixteen Candles, St. Elmo's Fire... even The Big Chill all have me older than the main characters! When did I get old??!!! This weekend we started to watch Moonstruck together. This time I was thinking about MY mother. Olympia Dukakis had my mother's mannerisms to a tee (including assuming someone died if we got an unexpected call). But it wasn't just my...

I don't know what to say. In my mind I'm completely distracted and overwhelmed by what we've seen from Norway. It's too beautiful a country for this to happen there! I've written and deleted this blog twice. I don't know how to express my thoughts to sound anything anyone would want to read. To me this attack is very person! * I have been visiting Norway (or living there) nearly every year since 1988. * My husband and both my children are citizens of Norway. * My children were at a camp when the attacks took place. * No one wants to hear the perpetrator's crazy Neo-Nazi propaganda, but as a former foreign resident of Norway, his message of hate hits me personally. My feelings remind me of 9/11 when my country was under attack. At that point we lived in Norway, and my friends, neighbors and especially my colleagues were exceptionally kind to me. I wish I could be there to console them today. My hope is that people will focus on the victims and i...

The stage was an integrated part of U2's performance My ears are still ringing from the loud music and my heart racing a bit from the adrenaline. Bono rocked it until midnight and I'm guessing he's still sleeping now. It was part concert, part mission, and while some audience members weren't into the lecture, I drank it up. He celebrated Aung San Suu Kyi's release by having her to speak (in a video) about what one person can do. Later, Bono had a duet with Mark Kelly who was videotaped from aboard the International Space Station, and speaking Bono's lyrics for his wife, Gabrielle Giffords. I was probably most touched was when he dedicated an impromptu song for the recently deceased Clarence Clemons after seeing a poster that said "For Clarence" in the audience. For me, it wasn't just about Bono, it was about the experience. The wait for U2 was LONG, but we had plenty of fun. At one point a man came through our section of the Meadowlands selli...

Flowers... a very rare treat This year on my birthday I lined up an interview, bought myself flowers and made myself (and a lucky friend) a pitcher of homemade sangria. Tonight I will take 5 friends to see U2. That doesn't count the presents I received that weren't from me! Happy Birthday to me, indeed! If my 40th year focused on stepping outside my comfort zone, is this the year I put myself ahead of others? The past two weeks my cherubs have been at a sleep away camp. I haven't been able to speak to them or see them (except in pictures posted online ). It has been a test of my endurance and love to see if I really mean it when I say "I'm happy for them!" I am sure you can hear me sigh when I think "if they are happy, then I'm happy". There is a big disconnect between moms and non-moms. I think that women who don't have children see us Moms as misguided, self-sacrificing martyrs who expect their undeserved pity. Why should they feel...

I missed the big meeting on Monday... but I have a good excuse. It was my birthday, and as I'm not actually on the Board, I get to go on a date with my husband instead of an emergency BOE meeting. If you want to read two viewpoints, here is from Dick Bergersen's Central NJ blog  and here is the Patch's take . So this blog is based on what I've read in these two sources. As a parent I am really disappointed that the BOE chose to give $20 of tax relief per family. It's a symbolic gesture at best. It's less than half of what it costs to fill my gas tank (and for some of you I'd guess it's closer to 1/3 of a tank). It's less than half of what I spent on gifts for teachers in 2010-2011. My Mom (who died 10 years ago today) would probably say "it's 2 bottles of wine".   We could have hired at least five teachers and reduced class sizes significantly in some of our schools.  this money could have brought back (even temporarily) the costs of...

(Written Wednesday, forgot to post) I often tell people that I made my first friends in 7th grade. I claim they were my first friends, and accepted me into their already-well established circle of friends, and I never felt lonely again. Nice fairy tale, but not exactly true. Yesterday I saw two of my closest friends from elementary school. DJ and LK. DJ was the boy down the street. Back in the day my Mom didn't like his dirty mouth (apparently he taught me the F-word, the S-word and showed me the difference between boys and girls), but he was nicer to me than the snotty girl up the street, and I did his paper route with him every day for years. Today he's in his early 40s, living with his mom after a tragic car accident (he was unhurt) a few years ago. I ran into him yesterday, and he seemed a bit disappointed with his life. After I told him sob-stories of other friends down on their luck, he said he felt much better. He, in turn, made me feel like I was uber-accompli...

...knows everything about you and likes you just the same. Last night I had a double date of sorts. I took two men to dinner... ...my Dad and his longtime friend Dr G, both men are in their mid-80s. Dr. G and his late wife have been friends with my parents since before my parents knew each other. My mom and the (then unmarried) Mrs G were both very smart, well-educated and sophisticated women from my hometown, in a time and place when there were smart women, but not many well-educated or sophisticated (in the 1940s-50s). Both men still mourn their wives. I can see why my parents' friendship with the G's lasted many, many decades. The topics of conversation last night were nearly endless. We talked about art (the G's have a vast collection of native American art that they collected over decades and have recently donated to a local museum) and literature. I told him stories about what is appropriate at a Bat Mizvah in New Jersey ca. 2011. We talked about travel, forei...

It's been quite a week! When last I checked in with you, I was in Evenskjer, Norway . After that I flew to Oslo. I spent time with one of my most talented friends. You have them too - people that you are very happy for, but envy ever, ever so slightly. IRH and I traveled together for about a week in May 1991. We were supposed to last a month... but we were sort of the odd couple of travel. I was terrified after a hostel in Amsterdam which I thought reminded me of a crack-house, bomb shelter and wanted to upgrade to just staying with guests. Inga liked living on the edge and turned it into a career. She became a freelance travel journalist, learned Spanish and has covered the entire world! I've written about my yearn to travel before , and of course, I do travel and am very fortunate. But I am impressed by all IRH has done in her 40 years. She now shares her life with with her teenage son and charming boyfriend from Africa. I was extra lucky: in Oslo, rather than overpriced re...

Last night I was up until 1am, but the sun was up even longer. I am going to the wedding of a friend who lives several hours North of the Arctic Circle on Saturday and staying with her through the weekend. If you live that far north this time of year it means that the sun doesn't set. Turns out other things aren't setting either at home either! A friend sent me a link from Dick Bergersen's blog (link to the right) explaining that negotiations have stalled between the BREA & the BOE. I'm really disappointed, but frankly, not surprised. It seemed like there wasn't a lot of love between the two parties as of late... Months ago I told someone the worst case scenario would be a strike... and you know what, tonight I am realizing that something I said in jest could become a reality. And I thought things were bad now? Instead of stressing about something I can't change, I will go back to my friends. They are serving shrimp (I've had seafood every single d...

I spent last week as I have spent many summer weeks: at my in-laws' summer house. As I write this (on my cell phone, so don't expect much text or editing), I am watching the plane with my husband and children take off for Copenhage, where they will catch the flight HOME. I'll be on a similar plane in less than a week but I still am tearing up as their plane is taxiing (?) and taking off into the clouds before my eyes. When you travel to the same place to do the same things every year you can easily think that the more things change the more they stay the same. But not this year. My kids are changing. My daughter is almost an adult. Last night she confidently drove me around in the boat that I cursed my husband for letting her take out solo just a few years ago. This summer my (less confident) son tried hard to master the boat... and the language. It's amazing to see the changes in him in a week. I realized I'm getting older too. That's ok. Last year I jog...

Tonight is the night when Scandinavians celebrate midsummer. If we lived in Norway my teenage daughter would have asked to walk (without us, but with her friends) about a mile to a bonfire with lots of other teenagers. About 11 she and her friends would have walked home and the older teens and young 20-somethings would continue celebrating the night with beer, wine and who knows what through the night. Only once of twice have I ever celebrated midsummer. Once I walked the streets of Finland (I was 16) and it was the only night my host family didn't give me a curfew. I got to kiss a boy that I had a crush on, but left for home less than a week later... so they were bittersweet kisses. Today I reflect on the fact that I am lucky to spend midsummer night healthy and happy with my two beautiful children. Today I went for a walk in my old neighborhood with am former neighbor, IH. She is just as lovely as ever and it is always one of my biggest regrets that I couldn't stay in t...

My daughter wore her "outfit from Eleanor's". Of course, she meant her black skirt and shirt that we bought with with LuLu and NR last winter. This time it was for the wake of someone whom I'd never met, but heard lots about. A loving husband and father. Politics are politics, and love is love. I complain about the union, and A LOT about the BOE. But if I want one thing to be clear in this blog, it is that I have really fallen in love with some of the teachers we have come across in the district. Maybe I forget to mention how ever-grateful I am that our fate brought us to such wonderful people. Do I love every teacher we've ever had the "pleasure" (ha!) of dealing with? No. Have I always agreed with those whom I did love?  Nope. But don't misunderstand my bitching and moaning: We have been blessed many times over in Bridgewater. Tonight I brought my daughter and NR to the wake of the husband of their second grade teacher. Ms. Teacher and I hav...

Red is my favorite color. My signature even. I wear at least a little red nearly every day. We have a red sofa, I have at least 3 red coats. It is the color of love and blood and passion... Tomato sauce... peppers, cherries. Strawberries... CHRISTMAS... It's been my favorite color  my whole life - and that's getting to be a long time . I wore red to prom, to many parties, when I was on The View and in my wedding bouquet. When running for the BOE I tended to wear red or pink to look feminine but strong.  Normally I LOVE to see other people wearing red too. MR looks especially good with bright red lipstick. And, of course MCM has red hair... Today though, C came home from school and said all the teachers at the Middle School were wearing red. I didn't get it... She explained it was apparently to support the union. (The kids at N's school wore red for MARE week... no word yet on what the teachers were wearing. But now I'm a bit curious. Did they wear red to be pr...

Down the shore... "Such wonderful things are all around you, what more are you looking for? Under the sea, Under the sea, Darling it's is better, down where it's wetter, take it from me... Up on the shore, they work all day, Out in the sun they slave all day... While we devoting, full time we're floating, Under the sea.... " Dissecting the squid. Students of all ages welcome My son's school has a special marine program called MARE. It's part of their Science curriculum, but they really focus on and celebrate marine life every June. This is my 3rd year attending and I really enjoyed myself. After the decorations, we rushed to be the first group to dissect the squid. It was my daughter's former Science teacher who was running the show, and as usual she did a great job breaking it down and preventing a major yuck factor. We learned the various parts, what they were for and also a little squid trivia. Did you know they swim at 20 miles p...

Several of my friends have been outraged about the whole Weinerscandal. I'm yawning. I just don't care enough about what politicians do to spend my limited emotional resources worrying about them. Bill Maher really had me laughing last night when I saw this (don't watch with your kids around!!! This is HBO*, after all!): But what if I did care. I mean, what if it were one of my friends? It's easy to judge a politician over coffee with my happily married girlfriends. To be honest, Hillary staying with Bill sent a terrible message of "stand by your man" that still bugs me more than even Arnold or countless other politicians... Sometimes when I watch TV I find myself cheering that the main character will cheat, sometimes not (In Sex-and-the-City I wanted Carrie to stay faithful to Aiden, but I wanted her to cheat on Alexander). Moral relativism from the safety of my sofa. It's different in real life!  How do we treat our imperfect friends? I know ...

I have to admit it: my daughter has good taste. She likes pretty (albeit expensive) clothes and generally speaking we don't argue about what she wants to wear that often. C's wearing a similar skirt.** Today I love her outfit. She is wearing a navy flowered miniskirt (purchased at a store that you can both hear and smell from 500 feet away) and a pink t-shirt. She looks great! But earlier this year she got in trouble for the same skirt being too short for dress code (they didn't measure in the office, they just eyed her and wrote her name down). This skirt may be a little short, but otherwise it is age-appropriate, so it really got my goat when C had detention because it "looked too short". C says it is bias against taller girls. She happened to meet the Superintendent at the Middle School. What was the one thing the girls wanted to change about the MS? The answer was easy: the dress code! (She also wanted him to give her LAL teacher a raise, which he sai...

Another victim of cancer... another daughter rehearsing a eulogy today...CM was running through what she's going to say on Wednesday at her Mom's funeral when I spoke with her. MJM talked about how she just lost her best friend. I wasn't really her daughter, but I share in their loss. Growing up there was a place I could always turn to when I needed love: Missie B's kitchen. Just down the road, the M family always knew when I needed extra care. I've mentioned my mother as a famous cook and brilliant woman, but our kitchen never resonated the warmth that Missie B's had.  When I was sad, I was fortunate enough to have a 2nd family looking out for me, with Missie B always willing to welcome me into her kitchen. She was a warm and loving soul. Part of me wants to go to her funeral to pay my last respects, and give her my thanks. Part of me thinks I should stay away. Do I stay or do I go? Tick-tock-tick-tock. I need to make a final decision. The fune...

It's hard to imagine that "The Enemy" was ever anyone but a group of religious fundamentalists who destroyed Lower Manhattan and who have been committing random acts of extreme violence in this country and throughout the world for more than 15 years. But it was. In 1987 the arch enemy was the USSR.... The Russians! And my parents sent me with a tour group from my exchange student organization to the heart of the Iron Curtain: Moscow and Leningrad (now St. Petersburg). It was an amazing leap of faith, especially considering my father didn't want me to go to Finland because it bordered Russia! My Mom heard that the Hermitage Museum was part of the trip and she sent me in order to pay homage to her master, DaVinci. Today I opened yesterday's New York Times and the memories flooded back: " White Nights in St. Petersburg ". At 16 my parents let me go. I don't usually quote my diaries in this blog. In fact, I never have. But today I will share a few ...

Being that I wasn't working, I spent most of the day reading a book that my daughter's fabulous LAL teacher suggested. Saving CeeCee Honeycutt is a woman's book. By a woman, about women (almost like the feminist literature I read in college, men are are background fixtures) and each character radiates a mixture of femininity and strength. I can't put it down! I've also been "coked up on Facebook". One of the topics that I read last night by my uber-talented friend, was reposted by another smart Chiquita. Both criticized a Nobel Laureate who claimed that his writing is superior to all women, and that you can tell a women's writing by it's sentimental content. I read several rebuttals... NPR wrote one here . The New York Times had several comments on several blogs. I liked this one (and it's short !). You can spend hours sucked into the web's vortex if you wish. The title of my blog gives away my sex even if my voice doesn't, but it...

Today I "lost" my job. Nothing formal. No paperwork. No board room drama. No teary good-byes. I sent one last e-mail and rushed out to pick up C from the Middle School, taking a small tin of personal items, my toothbrush was still unopened from the box. I wasn't fired, I just ran out of stuff to do. My boss will call me when they need me. Then again, he may choose to call someone else instead. Today for a moment I was reminded of Spring 1985. I was a freshman "going out with" a senior, but when it came time for that prom, he brought someone else. In this case, we were two temps and the other woman got the permanent position. Looking back now, not getting invited to prom was a bigger disappointment than not getting this job, to give you an idea how little I had emotionally invested. But I realized I gained something: lots of weight. I spent three of the last four months working out and eating healthy, and when I was finally within just a few pounds of my goal I...