Bridgewater Soccer Mom's view of the world

Tuesday and Wednesday I was consumed with thoughts of political power. How it gets attained and what politicians do once they have it. A Soccer Mom's View of the Gov. Tuesday morning Governor Christie took the stage for a Town Hall meeting at Bridgewater's JCC. I was (apparently) one of few Democrats in the audience. I went with an open mind. I didn't learn anything new (I left before the press conference where he made his statement about a gay marriage referendum instead of via legislation through the legislature). Afterwards I drove a retired teacher home. She wanted me to put up one of the "I support teachers and staff" signs (see previous post ). We talked about "soft persuasion and hard tactics". She felt that teachers wearing certain colors of clothes were the softest tactics out there. I told her I found them manipulative - since they aim to get to parents via kids. I said I felt it sends a subliminal message to kids that teachers don...

Last week The Patch had reported on Tuesday's BOE meeting.  where, among other things, they discussed recommendations for medical services and tutoring. This brought me to take the discussion (in my head) a step further. When a kid struggles teachers sometimes suggest parents have their child "evaluated". Although the BOE meeting discussion seems to have been about the appropriateness of giving names for tutoring or medical care, I believe the natural a follow up question is what next ? If "the school" suggests a medical evaluation, should it be obligated to accept a doctor's diagnosis? What if there is a list? Would a doctor from this list would be "automatically accepted" over a doctor not on such a list? Currently even if a physician evaluates a child and reports the findings to the school, the school's Child Study Team (CST) re-evaluates a child before creating an IEP (if the school chooses them to be evaluated. The school may say th...

Since Vogue Knitting Live I've been so busy that I just finished today's blog. "When knitting becomes a career" from women who know Vogue Knitting Live's final Panel was strong food for thought. Entitled "When Knitting Becomes a Career", the message was really transferable to other kinds of businesses. Industry executives like the Editor in Chief of V ogue Knitting , Trisha Malcolm ** (3rd from the right) and Laura Zander  (far right), owner of Jimmy Beans Wool   plus several other incredibly successful professionals shared how they began in the industry and their experiences. At least one panelist admitted that she simply doesn't enjoy knitting anymore because it had become a duty, not a labor of love. Debbie Stoller (far left), author of the famous (at least in the knitting world) book series " Stitch and Bitch " claimed that she actually finds the writing process arduous and hinted that she misses deadlines. Her books (like Fiona ...

PART 1.... I've just come home from two of the most inspirational days I've had in years. I was at Vogue Knitting Live. I feel like I've had a massage and listened to Mozart for two days on a quiet beach instead of the truth: fighting some 5,000 yarn-crazed women (and about half a dozen men - they stand out) in a busy Midtown hotel to touch intricate knitwear. Yesterday was fabulous. KK and I spent the day together touching hundreds of balls of yarn in all kinds of fibers in every color imaginable. Had we not had a nice lunch and some down time (spent knitting, and watching fashion shows - it was, after all, Vogue knitting) I would have collapsed from sensory overload. KK hangs with local knitters who apparently have unlimited funds so she learns by osmosis and gave me a taste for Tahki and other gems. Like me, she is a woman on a budget. I bought one skein of yarn yesterday and today I bought another skein plus a a book that I had signed by the author today. Not bad,...

Creative? On Tuesday my son woke up and said "ONE MORE DAY!" Wednesday he couldn't wait until after school. He attends NJ Film School  and it was the first class of the second session.  It's nice to have a happy and inspired boy. He is in the children's film making class. You can see their work from last season on the website above. C is in good spirits, too. Although she doesn't "love" going to Tae Kwan Do, she said "it's great to feel like I'm the best at something". Whether or not she is the best isn't the issue but the feeling of mastery helps build confidence. I've been more relaxed with her too lately and it makes a difference. I hope it lasts. T is in overdrive. This is his busiest time of the year. He comes home and relaxes by re-building a computer in the basement or building a fire and finishing work fireside. I'm worried about his lack of sleep, but he already has a mother, and he's a big boy. ...

If this were 1978 can you imagine the kids' graffiti?** Every day I see these signs.... and the Italian-mother-guilt-trip extends itself from the grave and I feel like crap. Mamma-Gloria was a teacher - Spanish, Italian, English and she even covered a French teacher's maternity leave. She HATED PTA Moms who requested teachers and pushed for their kids to get into special programs. "If they don't see my kid is gifted then there is something wrong with the program." According to my Mom teachers knew best. Yet, she always gave a gift to the teachers at Christmastime (sometimes wine!) and made sure we had what we needed to succeed, but didn't run booths at the Blacktop Carnival. She said she'd spent enough time at school (she quit when she was pregnant with me). My Dad had a different approach - he came and talked to our classes about Science. At 86 he still teaches a course at his local hospital. A couple of years ago he went into N's 4th grade cl...

It was a very hectic fall. Multiple activities almost daily. Visitors. New Business launch. Homework. Sensory overload. Sound familiar? Then came December's travel craziness. Florida and back for five days. Norway and back for four days, then I drove to New York State (a 4 hour drive) and back for a 4 hours New Years party (plus sleeping). Skiing in the Poconos. I also was in NYC twice in two weeks. Last week school started up again - and the to do list was as long as the kitchen table. After a falling out from the fall on Friday night, the stress of the last few months finally caught up with me and my body demanded " Enough !"  I slept and relaxed more this weekend than in months. I imagine this is what blood pressure medicine feels like. The pillow like a magnet, and my body told me it was time to give in. Now it's Monday morning. Time to create the weekly to do list. This weekend was a reminder - rest is important too. Make time for it.

The Courier's Bridgewater blogger, Dick Bergeron, saved me time by writing a blog that I was planning to write. You can read it here . These signs don't make me more sympathetic toward the union, and as a staunch school supporter, I assume I'm part of the target audience. But as Dick points out, it's only a hunch. After my last experience at a BOE meeting I'm not thrilled with them either, but I'll save that for another blog. Thanks, Dick. Let's get coffee sometime!

Writing and reflecting Most days I write this blog picturing my sister-in-law sitting with a cup of coffee reading in her sunny living room in Boise. I also see, in my mind's eye, a friend laughing out loud because she is sharing a kind of inside joke. At times I envision a parent here in Bridgewater, reading on a home computer, and I wonder who he is and what he thinks. I sometimes see a far off stranger, sitting in Romania, Israel or Aruba with a TV on in the background in a language I can't understand.  An aroma of exotic spices coming from the kitchen. From time to time readers recognize themselves in my blog. Often they are happy with what I've written, and say so. Sometimes, people read things they really don't like. It is the latter whom I am addressing today: This blog is an expression of opinion backed up by the facts as I experience them . That's what a blog is . It is not a news broadcast, and I am not a journalist. I stand by my views, and ...

Last night was the parents' orientation for the high school. HIGH SCHOOL. YES - that business-looking complex by the Municipal Building. That place we used to drive by and say "Some day our kids are going to go there!" The pros: Lots of options. Your kid wants to do a class in fashion design? They can. Computers? Plenty of choices. There's AP Studio Art (but who am I kidding, C isn't interested in that!!!). Lots of business classes. AP Macro- or Macroeconomics, Forensics, Journalism, Women's studies. I found plenty of things *I* want to do, but that weren't offered when I was a kid. Including something called "Option 2" where students can choose online classes, college courses and other programs (subject to prior approval) at parents' expense. Kids come out of BRRSD prepared to attend a large university, since it feels more like a community college than the high school I attended. Heck, it's got a bigger population than "Pine...

I'm using google documents for my new company. Since my partner is sitting in Iceland, it makes it much easier to share files. Rather than sending one file back and forth ad nauseam. Possibly the most important file is a to do list (like a GANT chart). It's in color, but sometimes hard to prioritize.  Left: Monday/Tues list, Right: the big picture Google documents on my laptop works pretty well and is environmentally friendly since I don't use as much paper - but sometimes I need a stronger visual to organize things. As you might know - I'm a list maker. So I created an overview to see where I need to focus. The problem is that now I'm feeling a mixture of a nonchalant "No problem" and "OH MY GOD! HOW WILL I EVER DO ALL THIS?!" The big list is the overall items. Things that need to get done in general (for work, no personal/family items here). The little list is the "to do Monday & Tuesday" picked by importance from t...

"You are one of our 50" That's all that H wrote on her holiday card to us. Otherwise it was similar to most of the other cards adorning our railing, and probably your home too. Pictures of their two-year-old son and themselves with a heart that reads "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from  H, T and M." (with their full names) Many years ago we had a family stay with us for two weeks. We brought them EVERYWHERE. They didn't rent a car, so every time they left their house, I took them. I did all the shopping, most of the cooking and all of the planning for their 15 day vacation. When we saw them at Christmas, I commented on a clearly professionally taken picture of their two kids. "Oh yes, that picture was taken by Fame (a company). Their Christmas cards were very expensive, and we only got 50, so we couldn't send you one." The comment still gets my goat. But the night it happened, I went home and CRIED. I felt so unappreciated. How man...

Spent a few hours with N at Camelback . After the whining that the ski boots don't fit etc, (If you've ever skied or taken a kid sledding, you know), we finally hit the slopes. Just Mom and her 11 year old son. He's my cuddling kid. More likely to cry, but more likely to show happiness and affection. And on the slopes today, he was so proud of his speed. He was proud of (and a bit surprised by) his mom too. I kept up! No matter how fast he went, I managed to stick with him! It's also a metaphor. Soon his "speed" will beat me as he becomes more daring and I fall behind. I'm holding on while it lasts. C has already transgressed to the point of no return. A teenager, like it or not, she's moved beyond my control (but still, hopefully, within my influence). If she wants to she can "outrun" me at any time. I'm going to keep running, skiing and doing whatever I can to keep up. I guess I'm not ready to let my kids hit a double blac...

Lessons from breaking out in 2011:  If I had to make a theme for 2011 it would have been stepping outside of my comfort zone . Last year I ran a 10K race in an hour flat, and I started a business in an industry about which I knew essentially nothing. I also ran for an election, which taught me lots of things. I met many interesting people, and I learned that some of the people who are in my life actually weren't there for me when I needed them most. (A good lesson, albeit a hard one, to learn). Others came out from nowhere and rocked my world. I'm importing fine jewelry In running a 10K I realized that its OK to do something for myself only. The confidence I gained from making it all 10 kilometers and not giving up (or breaking anything, although I needed a couple of weeks for my sore tendons to heal) was more than any life coach could teach me.  Starting a new business (which began in 2011 but will go much farther in 2012) gives me the opportunity to take the ...

It's the day after Christmas - Boxing Day - and it is very quiet at my in-laws' house. My son is out for the day with his little cousins. First they are going to a playland where he and the girls will bounce to their hearts' content. My sister-in-law invited me to go with her, but seflish me... I chose to go for a long walk with my old friend. After they are done with the "hopping place" my brother-in-law is going to take them ice-skating. I wonder how my 11 year old son will take being shown up by his 7 year old niece. She plays hockey! (And does ballet - very well rounded, I'd say!) I decided that he'll do better without me there too. My husband and daughter are sleeping the day away. T LOVES to sleep, especially during the day. C doesn't usually sleep all day, but she has been running a fever (it seems, I haven't actually taken her temperature) since Thursday. I have to wake them for dinner soon. It's break... I just got back from a 90...

Merry Christmas to my family who are reading and happy-whatever-you-celebrate to everyone else. As I write this I can smell Christmas vegetables slow-cooking in the kitchen and mixed with the smell of a beautiful fresh tree, Christmas sensations fill the senses. Christmas carols are in the background (Feliz Navidad, right now). It's a time for generosity and memories. Let me share a few examples: When I checked out a Wegmans a couple of days ago, the lady at the counter told me a story. A man bought four $100 Wegmans gift cards. He paid for them, then gave them to them to the check out lady and said that he wanted her to distribute them to four families, with kids, who seem to need the money. He paid cash and refused to give his name. Later that day she gave one of the gift cards to a Dad who was buying very basic items. He CRIED when she gave him the gift card and explained that it came from an anonymous donor. She said that he could use the gift card for anything in the s...

1) Do homework with N from 6:30am-9am (check) 2) Take Nicolas to School (very late....) (check) 3) Work (see separate to do list) 4) Call for HVAC quote 5) Have lunch or coffee or take a walk with MR (optional, but hopeful) 6) Return gift to Wegmans, get food and make dinner 7) Drive C to tumbling, then N to TKD 8) ATTEND BOE MEETING. It's the presentation of next year's budget and an update (let's hope) on the negotiations. Be there or be unaware! ************************************************************************* Update: Forgot some important must dos - must get winter coat for N. If his grandmother sees that he doesn't have one, I'll get coal in my stocking. Must send a few cards more - I think I forgot a few people, and now have addresses that I didn't have last week. Must call my niece to wish her a Happy Birthday Must get flowers for a special someone who is having oral surgery today.  (From my daughter) Work: Hit libra...

These veggies became a soup soup for a sick friend (NB: I started this blog on Friday, but published it Saturday at 9am - not sure why it says Friday).  I've spent some time thinking about yesterday's blog. Rachel comments are spot on - and I've blogged about this very point before - we ALL need to support one another. Women are so harsh on one another. Whether it's directly or indirectly, we all have our own position from which we can help others. Maybe I'm not building orphanages, toppling Mid-East dictatorships or joining the Peace Corps but we all have our own way to assist others. I do serve others in my own way. I ran in a local election for an unpaid position on our school board. While I didn't win, I believed that as a BOE member I would have filled a deficiency of representatives who come from and focus on the "middle of the road kid", without an agenda of external backing. Later, I "paid it forward" by helping candidates...

I knit "Beary Bear" for children in Africa Yesterday morning SDB and I took Diego for a walk through her neighborhood. It was a beautiful day. Except for the leafless trees, it felt much more like September than December. We spoke about the state of the schools, ourselves and the world. We talked about our kids - our hopes and our worries. And a little about ourselves. Not exactly serving others. I came home, turned on Facebook and saw several posts about the Women in Public Service Colloquium . What do I do to mentor young women or serve the public? Yes, I'm on a few committees through the school district, and I chair a book fair here and there, and I donate knitted items very occasionally.  But true public service? Am I serving others outside my immediate family in a meaningful way? Not really. Do I inspire anyone? (Yesterday I met a saleswoman at Guess at Bridgewater Commons. She said she was studying industrial engineering at Rutgers - I told her to share that...

Am I as generous in my love as in my knitting? I just read an interesting (and short) article, called Is Generosity Better than Sex ? As I read it I accusingly reflected about how my husband relates to me. Then I saw there was a self test. I thought the test would be "does your partner do thus and so?"  Turns out it questions the reader's behavior toward their loved one. Today I re-read the article. I realized that I could reshape the contents to look at my other important relationships: with my children, my friends, my family. Yes, the kids get the majority of my time and resources, and perhaps even warmth, but do I give these things with a generous spirit? Do I demonstrate willingness over duty? Am I making them feel guilty for things that I see as my a mother's responsibility? (Much as my mother did to me - Italian guilt, she called it). The article, which is also from the NYT Wellness blog, ends with a study of three-year-olds which discusses the effect ...