Bridgewater Soccer Mom's view of the world

'Cause Everyone Is Running for (or from) Something? Yesterday as the polls started heading toward closing time and the votes got guestimated first, then called by various news outlets, I couldn't wait for it to be over. But is it ever really over? The Motherlode: NY Marathon It's a new day. And while I'm pleased that my board of ed candidate won, there were no surprises in the Senate, making me want to put my head in the sand for the next six years... by which time we'll have elected at least one new president.  As I was running up Van Holten road yesterday I remembered how it felt to run for a political office. The highs and the lows. I realized that just running for board of ed impacted me in many ways. I thought I knew who my friends were, but there are always surprises. People who stood by me every step of the way, and others who didn't, teaching me that some affiliations trump friendship. Time has healed that, and I have put it behind me, but...

A long time ago in a Galaxy Far Far Away... ... I ran for a School Board. It is not a position to take lightly or to vote for "just anyone".  You've seen the signs... Barry Walker is running a tough, but honest campaign. It's not easy when your main opponent is an incumbent with strong political ties and a tendency to play by his own rules. In fact when I ran against him years ago, he used the Middle School directory to solicit votes. As an attorney and a board member - or even as a parent who can read - he should have known that this was verboten , since a "not for solicitation" clause is printed on all school directories. Misuse discourages families from including their information in the future.  As the saying goes, "it's easier to get forgiveness than permission." Maybe I'm jealous? Since I wrote the elementary school's directory and had every single email on my computer, I was tempted to do the same - it would have take...

In Praise of Good Work A Special Treat So often when I blog it is in reaction to an inappropriate action, a statement - true or otherwise - or an unpleasant encounter. Today I just want to write something nice. Every other Monday around 6am we get an update automatically emailed to us with my son's latest grades. Not every Monday starts on a positive note. Thank Goodness for @Evelyn . She talked me off the ledge many a Monday morning. Yesterday, however, was the perfect way to start a Monday morning. It began by reading three simple comments from three different teachers. "Keep up the good work." "Pleasure to teach." "Is a positive role model." This is always nice to hear about your offspring. By the time your kid is in high school you kind of know what to expect... and while I think N is a pleasure to teach, it's not often I've read, "keep up the good work" so it was a big deal for Mom. As I often do, I took a walk at ...

Dear Friends, My commute is early, but not without benefits I have been on a social media hiatus (with two exceptions: work-related use, sometimes I use my personal login to update company social media) and private messages for Facebook friends whom I don't tend to email. I've heard from people that they miss my updates. That warms me and surprises me in equal parts. What am I "hiding" from? Several things: All things political - including religious-political banter and school board election-related discussions - especially school board elections: It's funny. I made a few posts about school-related matters (once about a grammatical mistake that my son's English teacher made on back to school night, and another about a parent who nearly ran over two students who were legally crossing in a crosswalk in front of the high school) and it was enough stress to make me give up Facebook for a month. I even took down the grammar discussion after fearing I...

I am a runner. Statement of fact. About an hour ago* I returned from an 8.2 mile run. Anyone would think that makes me a runner. Except me. I don't know the source of my insecurities. My constant feelings of not meeting other's standards (or even who the "other" would be). I do know that I generally say I'm sort of a runner. Even though I've run two half marathons, a 10 mile race, multiple 5 and 10Ks, I don't see myself as a runner. Noel is a runner. Anna is a runner. My 89 year of father, who hasn't run in a few years, is a runner. I'm an impostor. Except I am a runner. I used to run remembering my friend who died. I often think about people who love to run (or do another physical activity) and can't, when I run. I find it motivating: be grateful for what you can do, and push just a teeny bit more. Tonight I ran into a friend who has run marathons, but no longer can. Her knees. Not a disease, not an ailment, just plain old shot knees. I wi...

Are You Ready for What's Next? I still have two more years until it will be my reality, but this summer I'm getting a taste of what it will be like An image from my "sorta stay-cation" (View from BRHS) when C & N go off to college and I become an empty-nester. I've seen what a difficult transition it will be when my kids finally go off to college. I think my life will change as much as their lives do. All I have to say is that I'm glad to heed the warning: they grow up too fast, so enjoy every minute! Morning Rush (Church St.) You've heard of a working lunch? Well this year I'm experiencing a "working summer". I've been leaving my house before 7:00 am and not returning until after 7:30 pm. While I've been able to knit or read quite a bit during my train rides from Somerville to Newark, and occasionally (if I'm fortunate enough to get a seat) on the PATH train between Newark and the World Trade Center, it doesn...

750-ish Middle Schoolers graduated this week "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."  Well, "TBH" (to be honest, as the teens tweet), it wasn't either the best or the worst, and now it's over. If I had to grade BRMS over the past two years, I'd give it a B-. There were a few well-deserved As counterbalanced with a few failing grades. The As A couple of teachers who went the extra mile - communicated with me when N was lagging in the homework department or tried to make workable solutions to bridge the gap between his abilities and his output. They were also the ones who saw N as a very bright boy and encouraged him to participate in class. A few U-apples Some teachers clearly didn't care. Worse than that, they said that N didn't care either, which shows how little they knew him, earning a solid U (what we used to call an F). If they can give that grade for partially completed homework, I can give them this grade for...

Introducing "a cooling off period" Learning a new concept on my last day at work On my last day at my beloved job, a group of us boycotted the office-sponsored pizza party favoring a nice restaurant that serves great food, Trap Rock Restaurant . There we ran into another group from the office, some of whom also had chosen good beer - it's a brewery too - over no beer, pizza and uncomfortable conversation between "those who are staying" and "those who aren't". At least ten colleagues fall into my category. As my colleague said, "this is survivor and we've been voted off the island." Plans for when I warm back up At the bar I saw Kumar,  a visual thinker , and former colleague. I'm not sure whether it is marketing or perspective, but he referred to his last few months outside of the full time workforce as a "cooling off period". As a consultant he has a freedom to take time between projects. Evelyn and I both lov...

Soccer mom with many years' experience teaches the tools of the trade When I first got involved in local educational issues, I was introduced to the old-timers. The veterans who had sat through many a Board of Education (BOE) meeting. I was new blood, and full of enthusiasm to elicit change. For many years I was the parent in our school who knew what happened at the latest board of ed meeting and understood the multiple sides of any story. Whether or not I agreed, I kept up with the opposition's argument. Yesterday I was introduced to a friend of friends with young kids. She has jumped onto the advocacy bandwagon. I support her cause (bringing full day kindergarten to Bridgewater schools). But it isn't my fight, and I'm glad to be an observer this time and not take center stage.   Words of wisdom Looking back I realize I have a lot of advice that may be helpful to share. There are certain things I wish I knew before speaking at the BOE's podium: Keep it sh...

According to NJ.com the note to the waitress may have been a hoax . What a sad world we live in. Making up hate? Isn't there more than enough to go around?!!!

Ho Ho NOOOO!!!!!!! Holiday's off to their usual start Tired feet from a day in the kitchen I love a good holiday tradition. But why is my most faithful tradition to stress? Thanksgiving always includes "a difference of opinion." Some years it is something someone said at my cousin's beautiful table (discussed on the ride home, not at the table), or what time we should arrive/leave, or what I could possibly contribute to such a perfect dinner? This year we were just us with Dad in 08807. We nearly made it the whole day squabble-free, but alas Thanksgiving traditions are safely in tact. C can't text during thanksgiving dinner, and I should ask for help, not bark commands.  When will I ever learn? Sit! Stay! Focus? Look here! Another key to a successful holiday? Sending "the perfect" holiday card. Since the kids were infants, it's been the same "joy". Maybe this sounds familiar? I take 2000 pictures hoping that one image focuse...

"I feel a blog coming on" Hateful acts in 08807 make national news  Whenever anything interesting happens my girlfriend says to me, "I feel a blog coming on." And while I haven't seen her lately, I wonder if that's what she was thinking when she saw that once again Bridgewater made the news for its ability to spew hate.  Keep your stupid tip! Diners in Bridgewater refused to leave a tip to a waitress because  they assumed she was a lesbian .  Even the  foreign press  knows about it. NIMBY is alive and well here! It's one thing not to leave the tip - but the note? We don't tip gay people??? Did they think their note would make her re-think her hairstyle, and "lifestyle"?  Mosque update kept quiet I understand that I haven't been at the forefront of Bridgewater politics this year, but I assume I would have heard about  this ruling  earlier. In 2011 Bridgewater made the New York Times when this first came up: see  http...

It Was a Week Unlike Any Other (and thank God for that!) A rough start by calm seas** Last Sunday I went to a wake. It was "down the shore" so I took the rare opportunity to visit the Atlantic Ocean. I felt so alone. Normally I feel at peace near any substantial body of water, but this time my demons haunted me and stayed. Maybe that's what happens when you go to a wake? I've never been a big fan and am eternally grateful that wakes aren't my family's way of saying good-bye. It was so ironic: a gorgeous Sunday, unseasonably warm, calm ocean. New boardwalk and I wallowed in self-doubt and unhappiness. Office jitters abound at Halloween-time (but not because of any goblins) Everyone in my office started the workweek knowing about 200 people had lost their jobs and Halloween was the final day. So it seemed that my Atlantic demons followed me to the office and spread their wings.  Real-life drama at every turn. A colleague's brother was diagnosed wi...

Last week TV began it's fall season. And much like when I reread my blog, I found myself trying to remember what was going on last May. Why was Jax's wife (doctor-what'shername) in jail? (Sons of Anarchy)  Were Juliana Margulese and Will getting together or was she sticking with Mr. Big? (The Good Wife)  Did the oldest kid actually go off to college? (The Middle).  Modern Family is so funny that the plot doesn't really matter. I can just turn on the TV and watch. Fall knitting season has started (a WIP - work in progress) If only life were like that. May seems about 5 years ago. N was struggling in school. C was busy with lacrosse and T spent many weekends chopping wood. I worked 45-50 hour weeks, but really loved my job and laughed every day at work. Fast forward through a chaotic summer. The highlights:   a disappointing vacation  I chaired my high school reunion - aka the world's most thankless job  only spent 1 day at the Je...

It was one of those Monday mornings. I woke up tired, forced myself out of bed, into the shower and by the time I had gotten out, my son had gone. My daughter and I spent precisely three minutes together in the kitchen. She drank half a cup of very sweet coffee and off she went into the world of high school. I faced the traffic, which wasn't as bad as I had imagined, and came into an office filled with stress. Or perhaps it wasn't filled with stress as much as my little bubble was surrounded by it? I opened my work e-mail which I intentionally left alone for the weekend and I felt like I'd been bitten by something. Have you ever opened a credit card bill and taken a double take at the amount due? "That can't be right?" you think, and as you survey the damages outlined by Chase, you see that it is, of course, accurate. You charged every single item. Such was my e-mail. Copy went to a client that I had tried to improve, but actually made worse in my haste. T...

Hello readers, It's been more than two months since I updated my blog. I often wish I could drive and blog. My time in the car is when my thoughts are most gathered and mental blogs form. But after a recent incident with a crash related to cell phone use (wasn't me - I wasn't even in the same state) I am "on the wagon" so to speak and have nearly cut out cell phone use completely while driving. My life has revolved around these deadlines: Bedtime - the amount of time I have to get stuff done at home End of month - work's fast deadline (my stuff is usually due beforehand, but when there are mistakes/changes, end of the month is crunch time) The 15th - a newly implemented 2nd deadline. The idea is to relieve stress at the end of the month, while increasing productivity.  6:45 am/7:00 am the time when the children leave the house indicating I should be on my way to work. These deadlines have not meshed as well as I would have liked with the ever-fluc...

One of my parental disappointments is that my children aren't particularly interested in music. Both tried and both quit playing instruments in 5th grade, and my son enjoys singing but not enough to spend a lot of time practicing and not enough to try out for choirs and such. They do plenty of other things, especially C, so I can't take it too hard. After all - it's their lives. I lived my childhood and it was full of music. To me music was my identity. I was a pianist, I was a singer, I was a cellist. I wasn't particularly good, or competitive, at any of them, but I really loved to sing. I loved harmonies and melodies. I hated soloists - probably because I never really got any big solos - but mostly I just loved the act of singing. And first cello? HA! This week there were several articles about a teacher who leads the marching band. He is currently suspended with pay , but the public isn't exactly sure why. (It is a personnel matter, I understand this). The d...

Another Friday, another deep breath. Where does the time actually go? My job is hectic but I am really enjoying my co-workers and our nascent friendships. That said, I am not sure how many more weeks I can work 50 hours and not burn out. How do people physically manage even more? What did I do before kids? I remember that in the summer before C was born I regularly worked over sixty hours each week. I rarely cooked and getting home at eight was an early night. Both yesterday and the day before I put in twelve hours. Needless to say I haven't cooked a single meal since Monday. But why? Am I so eager to please my new employers by my display of loyalty? Am I afraid of failing? Am I enjoying the feeling of accomplishment? Or is it my inability to say no? Maybe a bit of all of the above. The truth is, I'm really happy. Even as I stress out about not meeting expectation or not making deadlines. I think this might be just the job for me. Let's hope they feel the same way...

It's official. I have a job with responsibilities. So many that I can't even come close to finishing in an 8-hour day. So I've been bringing work home. Which has meant I haven't cooked dinner once this whole week and have spent an incredible amount of time updating spreadsheets and writing "Creative Briefs". Even more than that, I've spent many hours just trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing. It's like joining a complicated dance troupe, I think I know the moves, but I can't get in step with everyone else... yet. I also haven't been reading - and barely know what's been going on in the world. What's that? A cruise ship stuck without power in the Gulf of Mexico with 3000 people and no toilets? The President gave a State of the Union address? And a Republican challenger to Christie? That's the extent of what I've picked up from this week's news. On the inside, however, I'm a sad girl. My Uncle died on...

After another good day at the office (Gotta love the honeymoon phase!) I took in the lovely sunset and thought to myself, I love Mondays! Not in an anti-Garfield sense. This morning felt like MONDAY with its dark cloud. My beloved son hadn't finished his homework, which I only discovered it as a fluke a few minutes before he was supposed to leave. Gone are the days when he can get away with half-finished work. His e-Science teacher means business. Requesting forgiveness is futile. So I did what my at-home-self would have done, I said, "Finish it up, I'll drive you." He protested, but resistance was futile. He finished while I showered and off I drove him to school. I love a flexible work schedule. What I meant about loving Mondays is the double-guilty pleasure. Now that Jersey Shore is no more (and I don't watch the spin offs) I watch the trashiest TV of my week: The Bachelor. If I had ever thought about it as a career option, I would have run a match making...