Bridgewater Soccer Mom's view of the world

Bridgewater Township has announced a tax refund. Not sure if it is the homeowners who made collective mistakes over a number of years, or the Township but here it is. The once in a lifetime tax refund. Click here to check if your address is on the list. Our house is not. I see several of our friends are listed, so I better let them know before BW Township changes their mind. I could have used a refund! C spent all day Monday trying on her friend's new clothes. It was HS's birthday, and she had already done her back-to-school shopping. C, who has a closet full of beautiful things, wants more, more , more . T's grandmother gave her a little money this spring so now she wants to spend it. It's her pocket money, so I guess it's OK. Even though C will be spending her own cash, there always seems to be extras that need Mom's wallet. The boys will spend the day more constructively - at the science center. With all the bad news about corruption in NJ, I have to admit I...

Today we had planned to go for a hike until we saw the weather report. Chance of showers. We went for plan B, an indoor activity for the kids. The kids are inside on a pretty sunny day. There are plenty of showers right here. N is having a bad day. Every little thing is making him cry. We are at a place with lots of other kids - and "free" internet to keep parents entertained (free is relative since parents have to pay too) - and some of the kids are very annoying. One set of boys were following C & her friend around relentlessly. Another boy followed T (N's BFF) around bugging him, too. Although the other kids have been over several times to complain, only N was in tears. What do I say to either C or N? C and the friends we brought with us came over to tell me that some boy pulled down N's pants while they were on the slide (a bouncy slide, the boy was fake "falling down" but that is part of the fun, I guess). C and the friends laughed. C admitted it wa...

I have been away at a summer house without stable internet. When I did have a turn online, I felt like every second was being counted... since the connection was low, it took 5 minutes just to read an e-mail and respond. That meant I didn't respond much and no blogging. I did respond to one e-mail. My friend forwarded this e-mail (in red italics) regarding a rise in prices on payment for school lunches using meal pay plan, BRRSD's chosen provider. I didn't know about it it, because although I am registered to pay online, the company never sent me this e-mail, NOR is it mentioned when I log on - although there is a note that fees may be applicable for payment. Dear Parents/Guardians: We want to thank all of you for your participation in the MealpayPlus program. We would like to inform you of an important change that will be effective on August 1, 2009. Due to steadily increasing credit card processing and development costs, the program fee associated with deposits made th...

This week has been slow in the world of my blog. A few weeks ago I applied to be a guest writer for another mothering blog, but was rejected as my writing isn't edgy enough. That was quite a disappointment, since it was unpaid blogs written by Moms. I thought a little about my blog. This blog started in protest to moves by the BRRSD. It has developed into an open diary of my experiences as a parent. This isn't a bad thing, but it was never the intent. After the rejection, I have been thinking about how and what I write. If I am writing a "how to" blog (and some of the entries could best be described how NOT to), then I should write what I know. I started a blog out earlier this week about traveling with kids. After only a few minutes with information flying from my fingers, it was simply too long. I decided to cut it into several shorter blogs, but this requires editing which takes time. I haven't felt like spending time at the laptop doing this work. It is summer...

I spent the weekend mostly without cellphone service and completely without internet. We took a long road trip - a return to days gone by when we dropped everything to drive 24 hours in the car to spend 12 hours enjoying a certain beach, a national forest or a natural hot spring. The was, of course, before kids and before we both had real jobs, when cheap was more important than clean. Long before we had dreamed of anything as revolutionary as personal GPS devises. Usually when I visit a city where I have lots of old friends, I spend my time with them, and I visit all the typical tourist institutions - museums, attractions, well known eateries. This trip was the opposite. Save a quick hour at a park to break-up the trip home, I didn't call anyone to let them know we were coming. The first night - in the city of my mother's birth - we found a country-western bar and listened to a live band, eating ribs with the kids until 11pm. The second day we went to only one "tourist ac...

Sometimes I feel as if I have no control in my life. No power, no say. Yesterday was one of those days - someone at the pool saw me and said "You look like I feel". I want to please everyone else because I like making people happy, and sometimes I make myself completely miserable in the process. Yesterday I said something rude to my BFF, I yelled at my kids when I was actually upset with my husband and by the end of the evening my stomach was in a twist. I couldn't sleep, so I read until after 4am. Today I started off the day with a quick shower and a stressful meeting. I just came home to a messy kitchen with several of my daughter's friends in it snacking, while my daughter tried to change her plans yet again. This is the third time she asked to have a separate friend over in 24 hours, forgetting we already had plans. How accommodating is a Mom supposed to be to her daughter's changing fancy? A better question: how can I find the gumption to prioritize my own wa...

I am on the back porch with my laptop this nice evening, thinking about the day. Today I submitted a sample of my writing to an organization. Now I wonder if I chose correctly in my haste. So today's thought is simple. As I look at the stars, thinking about other mistakes I made today, I wish I had more patience.

BRRSD: It seems that someone saw the light, and the BOE is revamping the K-4 Language Arts in BRRSD. It's a bit too late for my kids (N will be a 4th grader in the fall, and while it is apparently financially budgeted for this year, I doubt they can implement both a new LAL and math program in the same summer). In another wouldashouldacoulda moment, I realized I missed a very important BOE meeting on Tuesday. The following was e-mailed from the district yesterday. Click to download the following file: K-4 Language Arts Adoption I have read it, but not digested the information. Will speak with people more knowledgeable than myself and report back if I hear anything newsworthy. Re: Murphy's Law It's alive and well in our household. I came home yesterday afternoon to a beeping dishwasher and water all over the floor. Our decision: buy a new one ASAP. Home Depot - nothing we liked. Same at BestBuy. So off to PC Richards... on the way between BestBuy and PC Richards - at that t...

Glad to hear that the Supreme Court made this call even if they are farther to the right than I like... Listen to what Nina Totenberg said when the case was heard last April, here . The court found in the girl's favor!!!! Of course a 13 year old girl's rights were violated when she was strip searched based on a rumor!!!! Duh! Read the actual court decision here . I remember hearing about this case last year. A 13 year old was strip searched by her middle school administrators when another student falsely claimed she had prescription drugs in her possession. She is now in college. I heard her speak on the news about how haunting the experience was for her and her mother and I haven't forgotten her. When it comes to this kind of stupid stuff in the world, no one is immune. It's there before the grace of God go I... I can't imagine the fight if it happened to my daughter. Hopefully this case means it won't!

I read this article in Sunday's Style Section. It made me think. We've been big on cool kids' parties since the first ones. Through the years I found a previously untapped talent for creative birthday eats. Tellytubby toast were made as over-sized chocolate chip cookies. Two years in a row N picked out which Thomas Tank Engines he wanted: Percy, Thomas, Edward... they have all been recreated in the kitchen using small bread pans as molds. He turned three - then four. I've also recreated Digimon, as well a Pokemon, as well as high heeled shoes and a "barbie cake" for my daughter. If I remember correctly, I only "outsourced" 3 parties in almost 12 years (had parties outside of our home). At the 2006 karate party, I made the R2D2, shown above. C hasn't been left out in the coolness factor. She had one of the first big sleepovers in kindergarten where each guest baked her own mini birthday cake. It only went up from there. Every year has been a new ...

I felt it today. The weight lifting off my shoulders. Summer vacation is here. Today I took a deep breath - and exhaled.

...EQUITY No, I'm not talking about feminism, or racism or any other -ism. I'm talking about the inevitable - the teary, the whining: "why is she getting to do that?" Or: "Why did he get to bring a friend and I didn't?" And the unending attempts at parity. All in vain. C has HS visiting from our former neighborhood far away. A once in a lifetime sort of thing, so she had a few friends over to meet the now-famous HS. As the half-dozen or so girls sat eating ice-cream around our kitchen table, N was in tears. "Where are my friends?" A reasonable question, I thought. And so movie night was born. Click- evite -click and a few friends are now invited to see what some parents will inevitably think of as inappropriate, but that the boys LOVE. Monty Python and the Holy Grail was this year's hit with 3rd graders in a certain class in a certain Bridgewater school. Then comes the other question of equity - who gets invited, who doesn't? I used ...

Love being in New York... I don't love to shop when I don't have any money (today is one such day) but I love being in new York anyway. I had a great day with my daughter and our friends. The best part of the day wasn't the lunch, the shopping, roaming streets of SoHo. It wasn't even seeing long lost friends (although that was really great!) It was the car ride home when I got some one-on-one time with my daughter. We talked about whatever she was wanted. I was happy that there were no distractions, no rush, no stress (well, traffic) and it was just us two. 7th heaven. ... and, I was proud - I drove in and out of the city with no crashes, and no nervous breakdowns. I drove almost without using the GPS.. even choosing my own directions over the map's. This is a big deal for me: I am usually terrified of driving in NYC. One small Broom broom for womankind! One big step for me!!! Excuse ypos - I am writin this without my glasses.......

I can't believe it is the last day. It seems like the first month (and not just because it feels like October outside). We've been lucky and continue to be. I know it sounds strange, but I love being at the school volunteering. In the summers, I miss the administrative assistants at N's school (I don't know them well at C's school), and although I haven't been helping nearly as much as I want, I love being in the elementary school library. I could be a children's librarian, I love books that much. But most of all, I am having déjà vu. When N was finished with kindergarten, I wished I had more children to be in Mrs. Kindergarten Teacher's class (my kids both had this fabulous teacher!). Today I feel that way about Miss Teacher. Through the year my relationship with her has grown quite close, so now I am confident we will stay in touch. T commented on how fast time is flying now: N has only one year left at his wonderful elementary school. I can hardly bel...

I have a distant cousin who I have friended on Facebook. Her life is very complicated - nasty divorce in the works, estranged from her father and sister, uncertain living conditions. As much as I like being back in touch with her, sometimes I feel as though she only writes negative things. Where is the joy? Then I began to wonder if I am not just as negative, despite my better circumstances. So today I am happy to report I had a good day. I was lucky enough to attend my son's end of year party for his 3rd grade class. While I wished the year wouldn't end, I am happy that it ended nicely: a few outdoor games, then inside for make your own sundae. I couldn't resist - when they offered them to parents also, I had to take a nice scoop of vanilla, but instead of marshmallows, I covered the ice cream with blueberries and called it "healthy". I came home, picked up one kid and her friend, then the other kid and his friend. Drove to TKD and took a long walk with my husban...

Caught another article in the New York Times (the online version, I'm not sure when it was in print) looking at the question of how to best place students. Integrate all the kids regardless of ability, or segregate the kids by academic niches? You can read the article here . I have grappled with this question for several years. Our district has a highly elite AI program starting in 2nd grade but otherwise very little segregation in K-4. For grades 2-4 AI students are segregated into a single classroom at Adamsville school. Fifth and sixth grade AI students attend insulated classes but within either Hillside or Eisenhower schools, depending on where they live. Once children get into 5th and 6th grades there are various classes offered - children are put into either e, regular or remedial math classes - with the vast majority fitting in the regular bracket. The same holds true for language arts classes. Social studies, science, Spanish and other academic classes have only one level -...

This morning I got to hear those fleeting words, rarely uttered aloud: you were right. My day has been made. Unfortunately, "You Were Right" led to a change in plans and now, when I normally blog and drink coffee, I have to head out. I thought I would share with you (but I don't know why you'd want to be tortured by this too) something I heard on the train back from NYC yesterday. It has been haunting me - both acts, but mostly the first one - all evening, all night and all morning. A segment of This American Life from April 2009 called Didn't Ask to Be Born . When Ira Glass says it's not appropriate for children, he forgot to mention that it is physically painful for Moms' ears too. The first act is my worst fear. Could C ever hate me as much as these girls hate their Mom? I have to listen to something nice all day long today just to get the mental images of these family tragedies out of my head. Heard this on the clock radio this morning and it had my fe...

I'm writing this long hand (well, now I'm transposing it) from my personal hell on earth, Chuck-E-Cheese. I haven't been here in years. Is my memory fading or was it tolerable when there are this few kids? Usually I think of C-E-C as punishment for having kids, but today I'm sitting near the window overlooking scenic (ha) Applebee's parking lot and knitting. It seems like an ok use of my time. N has new friend who is allergic to dogs, so I was scrambling to find an alternative to playing at our house. The boys came up with this. Not as cheap as my idea (ice cream) but the boys are enjoying skeet ball. Best of all, I can knit to my heart's content. This morning I was in the opposite of this room. Yes it was noisy - and sometimes smelly - but a completely different experience. It was as if I were two separate people in two countries. I spent a wonderful morning roaming the Upper West Side with my friend JL and her husband D. We talked, walked and searched for jus...

It's summer. You wouldn't know it looking out the window, but considering there is about a week left of school, I'd say it's here. As I mentioned before, we joined a pool club. It has a swim team that apparently is "just right" (not too competitive, not too lax). Although he loves to be in the water, N isn't the strongest swimmer - I'm really tempted to get him lessons, which he really doesn't want, so the swim team would be a great venue to strengthen his skills. Moreover, most of his buddies at the pool take part in the team, and he might be left out if he doesn't join. There are two problems: he doesn't want to do it and he'll be away for about half of the competitions, and probably for the end-of-season party (i.e. the Carrot). All spring I have been planning to "force" him to join the team. It would be good for him both physically and socially. Today I decided that since it's his summer vacation, he should have a say ...