Running

I am a runner. Statement of fact. About an hour ago* I returned from an 8.2 mile run. Anyone would think that makes me a runner.

Except me.

I don't know the source of my insecurities. My constant feelings of not meeting other's standards (or even who the "other" would be). I do know that I generally say I'm sort of a runner. Even though I've run two half marathons, a 10 mile race, multiple 5 and 10Ks, I don't see myself as a runner. Noel is a runner. Anna is a runner. My 89 year of father, who hasn't run in a few years, is a runner. I'm an impostor.

Except I am a runner. I used to run remembering my friend who died. I often think about people who love to run (or do another physical activity) and can't, when I run. I find it motivating: be grateful for what you can do, and push just a teeny bit more.

Tonight I ran into a friend who has run marathons, but no longer can. Her knees. Not a disease, not an ailment, just plain old shot knees. I will always think of her as a bona fide runner.

What makes you a runner? (Or a swimmer, a violinist, cook?) You do. As I get older my mantra is "be who you are". Guess what: the correlating concept should "you decide who you are".

*this was written several weeks ago and not posted. The images come from that evening's run.

Comments

Miriam Cutelis said…
It's so nice to know others feel the same way as I do.....I totally see OTHERS as runners, but not me.....I ask myself, what must it take....? seriously....running a 100 miler? I ma not sure the source of my doubts, but I know it's not a real thing....a facade that I must constantly ignore and tell myself to ignore....by the way.....wow....where you run is gorgeous.....I wish my running route was as pretty....Have a wonderful New Year

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