I'm always wondering what my next step should be, yet I often tread forward aimlessly.
This is one of those times. I'm trying to figure out the best career for me. A year ago I was gun-ho about getting a job and was hired after my first interview, only to be downsized a few months later. Now I ask myself again, what next?
Reading an article in Sunday's times magazine called The Women's Crusade I realized that I am looking at this all wrong. I'm a woman of incredible privilege - living in a safe home, in a country where women have significant professional and personal opportunities, and I was born into a family where higher education wasn't just a gift, it was an expectation. If the women in this article can break out of their circumstances to attain a goal, I shouldn't be so scared to set one!
My lifelong struggle has been finding the answer to the question, what do I want to be when I grow up. My life has happened to me nearly as much as I have chosen it. I don't know where to start in deciding what is the right professional path to take, so here I sit in a messy kitchen wondering.
Yesterday, I took one baby step. I spoke with an admissions counselor at a nearby university trying to figure out what path I could take if I want to teach. I found that despite my degrees, I'm missing some very basic classes.
Do I want to be a teacher? If so, I have to be 110% sure since getting certified would be at significant cost.
That's the hardest question for me to answer. Perhaps I've been handed things too easily. I wasn't forced to look pragmatically at my future. I feel guilty that I don't know yet. I'm afraid to say, "this is what I want to do!" Because it may have negative consequences for my family.
Not saying so apparently can have a negative impact on myself.