Winter Rut

I'm just going to have to admit it. My commute is getting to me. Life seems to have turned into an endless train ride broken up by work and " nighttime naps at home". I truly wonder if my kids are getting fed leftovers. No, not day-old meatloaf, but the sloppy seconds of Mom's attention. Even in my mid 40s I still need the positive feedback of my dad, my boss, my in-laws, friends and lots of people. So, why shouldn't my teenagers?

Perhaps worse than "neglecting" my kids, I'm not making good choices for myself. Yesterday's lunch was healthy, but pretty much everything else I ate gave the instant gratification to the tongue, followed by feeling bloated and guilty. (I don't regret the raspberry bar for my lunch-dessert, calories be damned!).

Haven't run in more than a week.  Haven't folded laundry in even longer. Haven't seen most of my friends in many weeks. Didn't even call MR on her birthday. 

Clean clothes are a necessity, but for me fresh air, exercise and friendship matter even more.

So just know that while I ride NJ Transit's Raritan Valley line, I'm thinking of you. Long walks, warm skies and the constant chatter... interrupting one another when we are talking so fast that our minds can't keep up, and we suddenly remember a tangent, or have a strong opinion. That's my favorite kind of vitamin.

I know Spring is coming. Longer days, warmer air. Happier times.

They're heading your way, too. That makes me happy.

And to my kids: I'm so proud of how well you're handling everything... but please be better about letting the dog out!

You can dress me up like a working woman, and put me on the train with (what looks like) every tired IT guy on Wall St, but in my core, I'm still the same nagging Mom. And I feel better now...