Tears in heaven......

Today we had planned to go for a hike until we saw the weather report. Chance of showers. We went for plan B, an indoor activity for the kids.

The kids are inside on a pretty sunny day.

There are plenty of showers right here. N is having a bad day. Every little thing is making him cry. We are at a place with lots of other kids - and "free" internet to keep parents entertained (free is relative since parents have to pay too) - and some of the kids are very annoying. One set of boys were following C & her friend around relentlessly. Another boy followed T (N's BFF) around bugging him, too. Although the other kids have been over several times to complain, only N was in tears.

What do I say to either C or N? C and the friends we brought with us came over to tell me that some boy pulled down N's pants while they were on the slide (a bouncy slide, the boy was fake "falling down" but that is part of the fun, I guess). C and the friends laughed. C admitted it was hard not to. The boy who fell was very amusing, and C said it was funny that they got N's pants. N was heartbroken that his sister and their friends would laugh at him.

How do you teach a sensitive kid to grow thicker skin????

I see too much of N in me. I am overly sensitive (family members tell me this often, friends politely keep their mouths shut!). I always see the worst motives in things and cry very easily when people are even slightly cold to me.

How can N deal with his emotions in a constructive way? I don't really have any fool-proof methods for myself. When someone makes a comment that can be a criticism, I take it to heart. Last week I had planned to see a friend. My in-laws said they would eat dinner without me. When I got a text that said "we're very hungry are you coming home soon?" I translated it as "hurry up!" In my head I thought "they don't even think I deserve even a couple of hours with a friend". Actually they were being nice because they wanted me to include me in their dinner. But it's hard to shake the irrational thought that they there's something wrong with me seeing a friend. Nearly 40 and my emotions still get me every time!

On the flip side, it can be good that N is like me. I have a lot of joy in my life and am not afraid to feel that too.

I scolded N a little while ago for crying too much. I'm sure I was making matters worse. At the same time, I know that the sooner he learns to keep his emotions in check, the easier his life will be. When I relayed this story to T, he said "N sounds just like you".

How do I help build N's self-esteem (again, low, like mine)? What's the answer?

Anyone?

Anyone??

Bueller????

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