It's that time of year... the presents are opened and we have started to unpack from the bi-annual Christmas trip to the in-laws, but it's too close to Christmas to take down all signs of yuletide. My mother-in-law kindly shared with me her handmade santa collection hand made by a relative as well as many hearts that MIL sewed back when she was a stay-at-homer like me (I imagine). I've already put them out for all to enjoy.

It is time to think about 2010.

I'll turn 40 this year. I'm still mostly a stay-at-home Mom. I am also quite messy. I am slightly overweight (at least according to WiiFit who still claims "That's overweight" when it has been "measuring"). I'm disorganized. I'm confused. I'm sure there are lots of other things to fix.

But in general I am also happy in this disorganized life. I like that, unlike most people I know, I am happy to blow off household duties to be with my friends. I'm glad that when my kids ask for something - a friend over, to go do something, a little adventure - I generally can answer, "Sure!" I'm glad that if I want to, I can read something uninterrupted. I am taking a history class again at RVCC, just for fun! I enjoy my freedom and my time.

I like that our house is nearly always filled with kids' laughter, the noise of kids' video gaming, and more recently overbearingly loud pop music (my mother is laughing her ass off in Heaven as she remembers my room and regrets that Santa ever brought me an amplifier).

But, I do wish that my weight were closer to what it was Before Kids. I wish I had a plan for what I want to be when I grow up - or were on track to being whatever that is. I wish that I could do more with this blessing of free time. I wish I could appreciate it more. I wish I were neater and more organized.

I wish I knew where to start.

T suggests that I make ONE goal and start with that - so now I have another question. Better to lose weight or be healthier? Better to have free time or a better job? Better to spend time blogging or cleaning? What is THAT #1 goal??? Suggestions welcome!


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