Roller coaster I can't get off....

"And all I really want is some patience
A way to calm the angry voice
And all I really want is deliverance
Do I wear you out
You must wonder why I'm so relentless and all strung out
I'm consumed by the chill of solitary?"

Ok, so you've waited in the longest line in the world to get on. Your belt is tight, although not as tight as you'd like. A teenager recites the safety rules for the 400th time that day.... and off you go, you look up, the ride just starting in front of you. And whooosh....

up and down and around and you are praying to Jesus or Mohammad or Eddie Van Halen or even to that tree below, please, if there is a God let me get through this....

oh, and please God, don't let me puke in front of anyone


But soon enough the ride is over and you get off. Your friends want another turn, but you offer to watch everyone's stuff instead, letting others slip in line to take their turn.

That sums it up for me. I'm just hoping to get through the ride without puking in public (figuratively). So far, I haven't tossed my cookies. Nearly fainted though, after forgetting to eat. Doesn't sound like me, forgetting to eat, does it?

Did find out that someone must read my blog very very very regularly. I thought most of my readers were friends I could trust. Well, mostly... another person I should have imagined in the audience has been lurking. She knew about El, and about the details of her illness and death. And that we were friends. She could have known about her illness since her son went to the same elementary school as my daughter, but there is no link that she knows about linking El with me. So she has been reading.... luring in the silence of cyberspace, and not with my best interest at heart.

Always good to know.

Time for bed. It's been a long day - tomorrow will be even longer. Saturday is Black Belt Testing and a surprise party for N in the late afternoon. Sunday my first guests arrive. Monday more guests arrive... then it is a week of guests, until more guests arrive on Good Friday, and then we lose two guests on Easter Monday, then Tuesday everyone goes home. Election is Wednesday. Then... then... I can get off the ride.

You can take a ride next time. I'll watch the bags.


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