Sink or swim

I am treading water. Some days I am actively swimming, some days I am trying to keep afloat. This is a big challenge for me and much more stressful that I had admitted to myself.

I will start blogging again soon. It isn't that I don't want to blog, it is that when I am at the computer, I feel that I need to be doing other things: tweaking my website (that will be active soon, my first name and last name (not maiden name) dot com. If you know these things, you can access it.

The site is pretty much ready. It's like a take home test that I am afraid to hand in because instead of one teacher grading it, all of the world can look at it, i.e. look at me, and scrutinize: The content (ie what I think), the concept (ie my educational philosophy) and what I have omitted, either on purpose or by accident.  The reader (and critic) have a lot of fodder for personal attack.

And who knows - maybe I am wrong! Maybe my ideas, my hopes and my plans aren't what people want. If that is the case, I am OK with that. It is finding the personal strength to stand the criticism. I knew going into this that the hardest thing for me is that I have paper-thin skin. I thought just wanting it to be thicker would be enough. No, thick skin doesn't grow on trees, and I am at a loss as to what I can do to fortify mine. I wish I knew. Experience isn't helping me.

The election is in some 24 days. Win or lose, I will have undergone a process. In that process I may not grow a thicker skin, but I will have been forced to get experience dealing with the media, with the schools and with the public at large. With the help of some very loyal friends I am going to make it through - and possibly winning the coveted seat. It is good to know that even if I am doing something that is probably unwise - it isn't smart to run for public office - I am sure I know who I can count on for support.

I have some really wonderful friends!  So it's time for me to put on my swim suit and go out into town and do what I can to meet my goal. If the choice is to swim, sink or tread water - I hope you will peek in on me, and find me swimming. The water is cold in the pool right now, but through my efforts and through the support of my friends and family, my inner warmth will keep me temperate, even if the water gets too hot through nasty rhetoric and personal attacks.

I have learned something else, too. I have no desire to seek future political offices. BOE will be enough for me.


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