Sometimes I can be "very thoughtful". Tonight I brought the rest of our dinner to ES. Turns out I wasn't the friend who brought food. When I checked Facebook, this blog entry about bereavement foods came up as some sort of ironic timing. Bringing food to the sick isn't exactly bereavement, but it's not exactly a celebration dinner either. I practically begged ES, DS and LS to call me when their daughter (LS) needs something - ANYTHING - and to call anytime - even when C isn't home or isn't available. They were worried about being rude or pushy yesterday (and ES didn't realize that we'd invited LS over today), but I insisted that they call from now on. Watching ES and her family struggle through these weeks has been beautiful and painful. So many friends with the same message: let me help you, let me love you.

But as I inevitably do, I then said the wrong thing. "Please, please call me. All I have is time. I'm home all the time!"

How insensitive of me to state the obvious- time is, of course, the one thing ES doesn't have. Her time with us is nearly up. She's got plenty of love. She's got TONS of friends, a beautiful daughter, a loving husband.  Family surround her and help her each day. They have a lovely house, cars, etc...

Cancer has robbed her of her body. And her time. She's almost out of it.

I know it's a break-up song and mostly irrelevant, but right now I feel it's about my big mouth. I can bring a nice meal... knowing what to say is a lot harder!

"I’m out of hope, I’m out of touch
I fell too fast, I feel too much
I thought that you might have
Some advice to give on how to be


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