Monday: Absolutely!

This week is possibly a record: I've started 3 blogs and not finished any one of them. Here's Monday's:

What not to wear: Part Deux

One of my favorite shows is Sex and the City. I love the witty women. It's like the Breakfast Club for adult women. We all have a little perfect-Charlotte, a bit of sexy-Samantha (WARNING if you think today's blog is inappropriate, this link is R-Rated), a taste of cynical-Miranda and some of Carrie_Bradshaw's perpetual self-doubt in ourselves. I think this blog echoes Carrie-Bradshaw's tone. Albeit, with a less interesting plot. So last year when I was in New York City with my friend and saw a hot pink t-shirt with "Absof---inglutely" (Mr. Big's trademark slogan) I had to get one. Besides, they were on sale....

But I rarely wear it. Let's face it, when am I *not* around kids for more than a few minutes and able to sport a PG-13 tee? 

On Monday, however, I went for a neighborhood run... and I put it on. Not 5 minutes into my workout, who do I bump into but.... Bridgewater's fashionista policewoman. Actually she's in one of the most googled blogs I've ever written.

Since then we had a "difference of opinion" regarding not my choice of dress, but my daughter's. 

Inappropriate? According to a certain Mom, yes!

Last winter C and her friends attended a bat mizvah and wore these dresses. (See left). According to my neighbor, my daughter and "some of the other girls" were offensively and inappropriately dressed - so much so, that she confronted me about it, twice. To make matters worse, she also criticized the girls' dresses (using my daughter's name, but not using the names of the friends whom she liked better) at a sporting event the following day. She even criticized C to one of my closest friends (and she knows we are close). I took the nastiness to heart, even though none of the girls had dresses that were trashy, with extra low cleavage, and they all had their shoulders covered, as is custom. One of the girls pictured to the left is Jewish. (M daughter is in gray).  If my 85 year old and very conservative father said they were tasteful, believe me, they were! He still wears a tie to the mall!

What she didn't know is that her phone call changed me. I am MUCH more relaxed about hemlines now. As long as the outfit is within reason, I don't care how short it is anymore. I'm much more worried about my daughter's appropriate behavior! So when on the Monday after the Bat Mitzvah my 'concerned' neighbor called to chastise me about C's behavior at school, I caught the neighbor off guard. She called to complain that C had spread word about my neighbor's criticism of the dresses, and it embarrassed her daughter. Her daughter might have heard about it, but not from C! What my neighbor didn't realize was that on that very Monday, my daughter was at E's funeral. She hadn't been at school the entire day. That was this day, and I've never forgotten it. On that particular day C supported her friend, and I couldn't have been more proud of her. Who cares what she was wearing two days earlier or what teenage girls said at school! 

The offending Tee

I don't know about you, but when I am exercising I don't worry about what other people will think of my attire. I wear whatever I want. So I certainly wasn't worried about offending anyone when I ran out of the house on Monday in my HBO t-shirt. But I shouldn't have let me guard down. Of course, my neighbor noticed my shirt (see right). She doesn't need to call me about offending her, or harming her children's innocence with my inappropriate T-shirt.

I know what she thinks.

Sorry ....she's already established that while she likes me as a person, she thinks I am completely inappropriate in taste, parenting and judgment. Monday's sporting attire was just further proof. My running shorts wouldn't pass the Middle School Dress Code either! They are too short.

But I don't care because the following day I bought something in size SMALL. And today I got a huge compliment on my figure! And besides, if you know me, you know I'm always offending someone. Maybe I should add a little spice to life. Maybe next week I'll have the guts to wear the t-shirt that I gave my Mom in the early 1990s. So horrific, so awful, that I don't think I've ever worn it since I inherited it 10 years ago.

What would be so awful?

It simply states:

I think, therefore I don't listen to Rush Limbaugh.

But I do listen to Carrie.... Bradshaw.  Like CB from Sex and the City, you never know what you'll catch me wearing, or thinking!