Something you never get used to...

When I was in High School I wasn't afraid to wear my heart on my sleeve. I liked lots of boys, but one in particular a lot. I didn't have the intelligence to hide it. And of course it never worked out and I spent a lot of time feeling worthless and distressed. It was my first taste of rejection.

About 10 years ago my dream job opened up. I applied for it, but when it went to someone else I cried for several days. I thought I was exceptionally qualified. Turns out, the hiring committee thought someone else was a better fit.

Tonight I didn't get another job I really wanted. While I am quite sure I am about a decade past crying for days over a job, I would be lying if I said I think that the hiring committee hired the easiest candidate and not necessarily the best candidate - there were three of us who I though would have been better than the person they hired. One of my questions was if I didn't get the position, would I try again? A few hours ago I thought I would. Now I am concerned that if I did go for it, and I got the position, I would always know that the rest of my "colleagues" didn't want me there!

The other two situations worked themselves out (eventually I did meet the man of my dreams, get married and now we live happily ever after) and although I didn't get the job I really did want (and still do - the person who got it still has it, but someday he has to retire, doesn't he???) the manager remembered me from the interview and hired me for another job about a year later. I loved that job, too.

How will this work itself out? I don't know. Will I try again for a similar position? I don't know.

Right now I think I am going to treat myself to some TV and some ice cream. A little comfort food goes a long way!

Tomorrow is another day!

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