On friendship

Today I spent the day with a very special family (and lots of other people). When our daughters were still very small I hoped we might get invited to their daughter's bat mitzvah, since I'd never been to one before. Today we celebrated E's big day.  These friends moved to Florida last summer, but they flew up to have the party here (the religious portion was a few weeks ago).

E's Mom and I have a special relationship. We have a lot in common: we look somewhat alike, with dark curly hair. We have strong opinions (which are often similar) and we both love a good laugh. Our husbands are somewhat alike in looks and demeanor. We both have a daughter and son. And we have the same first name and last initial. Spending the day with her was absolutely wonderful.  We started our girl scout troop as co-leaders and have been having fun "winging it" ever since.

But what struck me the most was the girls. Five of them were in the same kindergarten class. Over time their groups have expanded and contracted, and as they left girl scouts for soccer, and soccer for cheer, new girls have come in and out of the picture. Eight years is a long time for girls to stay friends. As one of the moms and I surveyed the room, we talked about how much we liked these girls and how fortunate we are that they are good girls. Of course, they can all be mouthy and rude, manipulative or mean. And while I am sure we have many headaches and dramas ahead of us, I know they will turn out as good people in the end.

Seven years ago I wondered if we'd be at her Bat Mitzvah. Today I wondered if we'd be at her wedding. They have suitable taste in friends, so I don't worry, although I'm curious: Who will our girls fall in love with? It takes a special friendship to last a lifetime. I hope my daughter's friendships will continue to grow, and once again we will watch them dance the day (or night) away, so involved in their own happiness that they don't notice the boys, or us moms, dancing in small groups on the periphery.

"I got a feeling, that tonight's gonna be a good night...."


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