Yes, it was Monday - definitely Monday....

I started to blog (at least in my head) about what a crappy day this has been. About how I didn't have the right paperwork when I went to get N's passport renewed how the day otherwise was so mediocre. How all I really want to do is turn on the TV, pour myself a glass of wine and knit my Montour shawl... but I should exercise, clear the table and fold laundry.

And then while I was sourly blogging in my head, I clicked my mouse over to Facebook and read something that was like a slap across the face. I was suddenly ashamed for yelling at my daughter only a few minutes before. El's daughter L's facebook status asked how she was supposed to survive the rest of her life without her mom, when it's only been 3 months.

I thought of El today. I think of her often. I was at Gray's - my favorite Bridgewater florist. I was thinking about all the flowers I bought for El in her last months. Sunflowers were her favorite. I thanked the proprietor. She put signs up for me during the election - and took some heat for it from my opponents - but she said I was a faithful customer. I generally buy flowers for 3 reasons: as a gift, as a pick-me-up and to bring if we are invited somewhere. I would love to bring El sunflowers, sometimes mixed with irises. I loved the contrast. 

Yesterday I thought of El too. El gave me all her yarn - and no matter how optimistic I am, I know I will never knit with ALL of it, so I gave some to my friend Pam who knits for LOTS of good causes. Pam writes the Courier's In Stitches knitting blog. Yesterday we met for coffee. She is using El's yarn to knit bears for needy children (to be honest I can't remember which kids, but I am sure they need them). I think El would have liked that idea a lot. 

I think I'll follow in Pam's footsteps, but instead of knitting a bear for the needy, I'll knit one for El's daughter L. She's putting up a strong front, but she is still pretty needy... how is she going to survive the rest of her life? Only with continued love and support. I can only support her as well as I support my own daughter, and today I was no stellar example of loving parenting. It's time to go apologize for my outburst, give my kids a kiss good night and cast on the stitches needed to start a bear.


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