Girls behaving badly

I'm not a fan of bullying.

Last week I witnessed an incident of it in our schools. Something that won't make the new state-mandated programs, nor show up in the districts statistics. No calls to the principal. It was typical - the popular girl from the powerful clique pushes the new bespeckled, quiet girl to get what she wants. No, it wasn't the straight forward physical pushing that you see in the movies. It was the behind-the-scenes "you will do what I want or else" kind, that is so hard to prove.

Either way it's wrong. And it still goes on.

There was another incident this weekend - the popular girls laughing and talking about an incident. The unpopular girl walks by, the laughter stops. The girls stare at one another. I am sure I will witness more as the season progresses. It seems that old issues die hard.

In yet another circle one girl does something that the rest of the group doesn't like. Long after the incident is forgotten this girl still isn't welcome "to play with her old friends".

Even among some of my closest friends I see gossip and judgement - not the supportive loving behavior I want to promote. Of course I'm guilty too sometimes.

There are plenty of examples in a neighborhood near you!

Unfortunately this spiral won't end... I'm not talking about the Middle School, or even students at all. I'm talking about Moms. When do we get the policy in place that women have to be nicer to one another, if only to teach our children to be better people?? And if we see bad behavior (in ourselves or others) how do we best address that? Have any of you ever explained your own behavior with your daughters and/or sons, or are you, dear readers, beyond reproach?

With last week's incident, I've seen this bully in action for all the years we've lived here. I don't have the guts to face this particular bully and call her out on her actions. Hopefully someone else will someday. We can tell our daughters that they should make new friends. I am following that advice too. Until then, all I can say is I've been on both sides of this circle and it always ends badly.


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