It's so important to...
If you ask my MIL what my biggest fault is, I think she would answer "Poppet can't say no." I know she finds many, many other faults in me - but this presumed fault is the subject of today's blog.
She would probably be right. I am constantly working to try to make everyone happy and rarely working toward my own happiness. When I do, I usually end up ruining other people's plans and then feeling guilty for wanting to do something for myself.
This week has been about making other people happy. Sometimes I can make them happy, but usually it comes at a price - often being my own feelings.
I like that I try to please others, however I have to learn balance. I need to also learn to be happy in doing something for myself without feeling GUILTY.
Yesterday I gave in. I laid in deck chair. I read the New York Times.
But I was still worrying about my husband, the dog and our guests. I was even worrying about my friends who are fantastic vacations - wondering if they are having a great time. Why should that be on my mind???
This week I plan on spending time helping a friend pack her house before she moves to Florida. Although I know I should spend the time cleaning my own house, I feel as though I need to "pay it forward". When we moved out of our previous house, my neighbor helped me wash all the walls with vinegar and water. All day long. Other friends watched our children as we looked for a place to live. Others helped us pack, carry heavy items and paint.
I met someone this weekend who works for an organization where I volunteered during college. The first thing out of my mouth when I heard her say where she was working was, "I should volunteer there!" (Don't worry, it's not a promise!) Then I realized that making "them" happy with my volunteering would irk my husband and he'd probably say, "Why would you work for free?" Because it makes me feel good? Is that true?
"It's so important to make someone happy..."
But it's hard to make EVERYONE happy.
Maybe the song is right:
"Make someone happy,
make just ONE someone happy
and you will be happy too."
The song is a love song, so I presume it means that ONE someone is supposed to be my husband. But what about my kids (which one should I pick?), my father, my friends, my in-laws, my family??? The neighbors???? All the other people in the world who need help????