Generosity of spirit?
|Am I as generous in my love as in my knitting?|
As I read it I accusingly reflected about how my husband relates to me. Then I saw there was a self test. I thought the test would be "does your partner do thus and so?" Turns out it questions the reader's behavior toward their loved one.
Today I re-read the article. I realized that I could reshape the contents to look at my other important relationships: with my children, my friends, my family. Yes, the kids get the majority of my time and resources, and perhaps even warmth, but do I give these things with a generous spirit? Do I demonstrate willingness over duty? Am I making them feel guilty for things that I see as my a mother's responsibility? (Much as my mother did to me - Italian guilt, she called it).
The article, which is also from the NYT Wellness blog, ends with a study of three-year-olds which discusses the effect by parental behavior. My kids are well past three. I hope that they see enough of the right kind of generosity in the home to bring happiness into their adult lives.
It's never too late to improve. C already says she doesn't want kids because they are too much work. Am I complaining so much that parenting comes off as a big headache? I want my kids to want love in their lives, not only to get it, but to share of themselves.
And if I give more in all my relationships, hopefully I will receive love in kind.