Bridgewater Soccer Mom's view of the world

Saturday Too many families in our neighborhood are without power. We are the lucky ones. Our street has power, and we even have internet, cable and phone. Last night IL slept over so he could get to school in the am. His house is without power, but it turns out, so is his school, so it was just a surprise sleep over. C is getting her Halloween wish: to see Paranormal Activity. Another electricity-less friend is taking them. In the mean time, I'm getting the house cleaned up. T comes home after a week away. Clean sheets, clean towels and maybe a clean dog. In a few hours I'll light the candles, and hand out the candy. I miss having little kids who need me to walk with them and relish in the preparations: planning and carving the pumpkin, painting faces and post-Halloween celebrations. I wonder what to do with our dog. He scares everyone with his doorbell response. "Ruff Ruff Ruff!" (Translation: WHO IS COMING TO SEE ME??? SOMEONE IS HERE! LOOK! Sounds like ...

In Scandinavia kids look forward to Saturday. No day care or school. AND they get "Saturday candy". Yes, on Saturday kids all over Scandinavia get treats that they don't normally get during the week. This morning all of New Jersey is on high alert: SNOW is in the forecast. WHYY said that it's the first October that we'll have had snow in 40 years. I've decided that the antidote to impending snow is my own version of Saturday goodies: vanilla coffee, pumpkin candles throughout the livingroom, NPR in the background (they just did a charming story comparing finances using candy corn) and as soon as I hit "publish" on this, I will continue knitting Christmas gifts. I'm working on several projects at once, as usual. Since tomorrow I need something that I can knit without counting or thinking in the car, today I am doing a pattern that I need to follow carefully. I have some time to treat myself to what *I* want to do this morning. Later on we wi...

Bridgewater Raritan School District does not host year-long exchange students . While I lament our large class sizes, I really believe that this cultural experience brings a lot to the host community and is worth an extra few bodies in a high school of approximately 3000 students. Yesterday this experience brought me financial gain. Who would have thought that twenty five years after meeting her, I would go into business with another foreign exchange student? Although we have been in planning stages for months, this weekend we launched our business and made our first sale. It's terribly short-sighted that we don't host students. Bridgewater should, at a minimum, have a one-for-one policy (if a student goes on exchange, we can host a student in his or her place). There are lots of stories of how exchange years change students , and enriches host families, and the community at large, but it's something quite different to hear (or even write) about a business venture that...

Happy Wednesday, Folks... Higher Education Bubble by Savings Account.org

That's been the mantra in our household. Whenever C or N accomplish something, that's what they hear from us. Tonight I heard an inspiring speech by US Congressman Rush Holt (NJ, D-12). (Of the slogan, "My congressman IS a rocket scientist"). He basically explained that he got elected in a highly R-district through HARD WORK and DEDICATION - and hard working supporters. It was a highly-political speech as it was at a Democratic fundraiser and targeted to the audience, but I really loved what he had to say. He's intelligent, compassionate and really made me believe in him as a representative. (He isn't ours, but may be with future redistricting). I'll write more about the dinner another time. Dad was my date - he "won" a set of Shakespeare books at the silent auction, and he's very happy. I "won" 2 bottles of wine (from the basement of a collector, whom I trust has excellent taste in grape juice). It's good to have something ...

I'm not a fan of bullying. Last week I witnessed an incident of it in our schools. Something that won't make the new state-mandated programs, nor show up in the districts statistics. No calls to the principal. It was typical - the popular girl from the powerful clique pushes the new bespeckled, quiet girl to get what she wants. No, it wasn't the straight forward physical pushing that you see in the movies. It was the behind-the-scenes "you will do what I want or else" kind, that is so hard to prove. Either way it's wrong. And it still goes on. There was another incident this weekend - the popular girls laughing and talking about an incident. The unpopular girl walks by, the laughter stops. The girls stare at one another. I am sure I will witness more as the season progresses. It seems that old issues die hard. In yet another circle one girl does something that the rest of the group doesn't like. Long after the incident is forgotten this girl still ...

She looked darling this morning as she left for school. Really cute. Black football jersey, black, red, silver and white ribbon in her curly hair, big smile on her face. I've always been a bit ambivalent about my daughter's looks. We get comments all the time on her looks, and have since she was a newborn. Women stopped me in the mall to compliment her. I'd shrug and say something like "oh, baby gap makes all kids look fantastic". The truth is I've never been beautiful and I don't know how to handle my daughter's looks. From a pretty young age I was traumatized by my curls. I was too skinny, and then "too flat", and then fat. The closest thing I got to a compliment was hearing that my mother was so very beautiful (she was) and occasionally hearing that I looked like her ("better that than looking like my Dad" I'd reply. He looks a lot like Hitchock.) Now "you look like your Mom" is the best of all compliments. Wh...

Last week I saw a lot of people while working at the Book Fair. Several asked if I would run for the open seat  on the Board of Ed.  I also spoke with someone last week who conspicuously did NOT ask if I would run. I told them that I have no intention of running for this open seat. When it's a mid-term opening, the sitting board picks the replacement from among the candidates (who sent in cover letters, resumes and filled in a form), in consultation with the Superintendent. I've been through this process before, and see no need to try again. By my calculations, I have less than a 50% chance with these odds. I'm not trying to sounds self-depreciating. The good thing about running for office is people show what they think about you. That includes BOE members. While a few members reached out to me to share well-wishes, most of them clearly didn't want me on their side of the table. As with any election, this appointment is a numbers game. Instead of needing a coupl...

What a life to have lived! Steve Jobs really had it all: family, inestimable talents and more money than most countries... but he still couldn't beat the Big C. Still seven years is more than most pancreatic cancer victims can bank on, thanks to unbelievable opportunities to access to the world's best medical care. Everyone was talking about his Stanford commencement speech. I have to admit that I haven't had the chance to hear the entire thing, but what I have taken from it is that if you live life doing what you believe in and you love, then you are a fortunate person. I may be exhausted and stressed out, but my day was as follows: I spent the most of the night caressing my daughter's back as she hacked away. (She'd cough, I'd wake up and rub her back, we'd fall asleep, then repeat - at first I would run from my room, but then I just crashed with her, as it was almost like contractions: every half hour or so a coughing fit, then every 15 minutes, every...

Normally I never mention anyone by name in this blog. But today, this dedication goes out to Maggie! She helped at the Book Fair, even though she is chairing another this week. She's always got my back, no matter what the crisis or moment of joy. And tonight, as usual, she talked me off the ledge after I angered the Cheer Gods.  I had the balls (and the poor judgment) to ask the head coach to send out an e-mail requesting that people use digression when hitting "reply all". The coach clearly didn't like my insubordination (even though 4 different parents were complaining to one another, as we were waiting to pick up our kids and 2 parents addressed it publicly already). I thought I would bring it up privately. The coach wondered what I was talking about! For the record, today alone I got 26 e-mails from the cheer team. About 5 concerned me. And if you read yesterday's blog you can guess I got more e-mail than just regarding cheer. Now my daughter is upst...

I'm not taking my own advice: too much focus on the short term can have adverse effects on the future. Yesterday was a hell of an example of that. I spent 10 hours volunteering at the Book Fair that I'm chairing. I will be there six hours today, tomorrow and Friday and 8 or 9 hours on Thursday. A very intense, but short-term volunteer gig, but a huge time commitment nonetheless. Yesterday I lost focus on my long-term plans: I should be working on launching my new business. I should have prioritized that. There is so much to do - both unexpected last minute paperwork and things that I could have already been working on for a while. I also have several other things that needed my attention. I'm volunteering for 2 other organizations. Both of them take considerable amounts of time. Again, they have to come second to the paying gigs, but didn't last weekend. We have been reorganizing the house so that things aren't always such a mess. This takes time. Last wee...

Update: I published the part below a little while ago, then checked Facebook and my friend who (with a PhD in Ed from Columbia U) has built her career building schools in Africa published an important link. Thank you for reminding me to be grateful and to see maybe I should be putting my efforts elsewhere? My kids can probably read and write better now than the vast majority of children on the African continent. Read this . **** And now back to the scheduled blog: If you ask people what irks them about the district, there are lots of answers. But native residents my age remember very clearly that they closed a high school due to low enrollment right just about the time that the Township handed out a boatload of building permits (with a conservative estimate that there would be 1 kid per household in these 3, 4 and 5 bedroom houses/condos). And thus a major overcrowding problem was born. (That's the short version, not all of my readers live in 08807, and if you don't, y...

It's funny - I've lived in this house for  7 1/2 years (the longest I've lived anywhere since HS graduation). I helped design the kitchen, helped pick every color on every wall, except my daughter's room. I helped pick every piece of furniture and everything on the walls. I bought or chose (from my parents art book collection) nearly every book in the living room/family room. But I still feel like driving to my Dad's house is going home. Once a small town girl, always a small town girl. Tonight I'll sleep in my childhood bedroom. The canopy bed is gone, but the memories are all still there. As are many of my friends. I'll see a few of them too, taking very familiar routes to get from place to place. Formally the reason for my trip is to take my Dad to a dental appointment. He has a 3 hour appointment for bridge work and he's worried he won't get up on time (and I'm worried he shouldn't drive home if they give him pain killers). But any tr...

Just finished a book that I read in just under 48 hours. Writing on My Forehead . It was a beautiful story and I really fell deeply into it hardly putting it down last night, even though so many generations and names of Aunts and Uncles were hard to keep track of. I loved it... It was about Saira, an American-born girl of Pakistani-Indian descent who lived with two distinct cultures. The American-bread culture of suburban Los Angeles, where she attends public schools juxtaposed against the conservative, yet vibrant, traditions of her parents' culture. I was seduced into believing that this was a book praising individuality. Saira's most beloved Aunt is an "old maid" who became a professor of Literature at a women's college in Pakistan. Other than the protagonist, she is the most developed character, and certainly the most interesting. She even says in two different times that she doesn't regret her fate of an intellectual life over domestic bliss. Saira ...

Newest editions to the knitting closet Bridgewater's only yarn shop is closing. Today is A Yarn For All Season's last day. Don't tell my husband, but I spent another $90. I expected deeper cuts on the final day, but still bought more than I planned. Strictly speaking I shouldn't have spent 10 cents. I have no income at the moment and no need for any of the items I bought (I didn't have a stitch counter). But now I won't buy anything knitting related for a years! It's sad to see another Mom and Pop (or, in this case just Mom) business close. It's sad to see more evidence that our economy is going the wrong direction. It the planets were somewhat otherwise aligned I would have loved to have my own shop. Now that I have all this yarn, all these books and a few extra needles, I look forward to knitting pretty things for my friends and family. And also.... for myself! *** By the way - last night was Back to School Night at the Middle School. I wa...

This weekend's vice I wrote several blogs that I didn't post this weekend. Yesterday I focused on our collective love for Forbidden Fruit (not what you think). My friend Pam wrote about this temptation for her knitting blog, In Stitches . For many of us buying something we need definitely don't need, like more yarn, is biting into a forbidden fruit. You know it's wrong but you do it anyway.  I spent the weekend knitting from yarn of the forbidden fruit (except the yarn was spun from a monastery's wool by Monks - hardly the double-F). The same day NPR had a segment on  Resistance Training for temptation . It all really got thinking about the forbidden fruits of my life. I have many!  Ice cream, Thai Food (try to resist Phad Thai - I dare you!), watching TV when I should be doing other "things", nostalgia, this blog...or simply procrastinating. And Facebook. If you are my Facebook friend, you know that's probably my biggest vice of all! Which le...

Before kids I hated Autumn.Dreary days that get perpetually shorter, colder and darker, and I couldn't wait for winter to get her and make things white. (When you grow up in western New York, you are used to a lot of snow). Now I see Fall as something else. Cool nights that make it easy to sleep. "Indian summer days" when the temperature is perfect for walks, and knitting. Clean slates in the classroom when everyone is still optimistic about a new year. And my favorite of volunteer activities: Book fair (beginning at the Middle School next week, and Eisenhower on October 1st), when I can get the heads up on what's new in kids' lit and spend time selling reading to Bridgewater's kids. Today I am heading to Michaels. No, not for yarn (not til I knit what I have in my stash). But for items to get my new business underway. More about that later. Fall is a time for new beginnings and the perfect time for second chances. My job didn't work out last Spring, b...

About fifteen years ago my friend lost her daughter in an accident. Often when you meet people who have lost a child, they have a sense of tragedy floating about them. Not with LD. You would never know it if you met her. She is friendly, funny and kind. She gives selflessly and I am more than fortunate to have been the recipient of her generosity. She has been the Head Honchess of the Girl Scouts for this section of Bridgewater - one of the most thankless jobs on Planet Earth! In addition, she has two daughters, a husband and juggles several jobs! An all-around good egg, indeed. So it was a little insulting that her comments at the Board of Ed last night were so misconstrued. Wonder what she said exactly? You can click here to replay last night's meeting. (Audio recording, September 13th, part 2, approximately 1 hour and 3 minutes into the recording). If you don't feel like downloading the file and listening to the meeting, here is the Readers' Digest version: LD infor...

I had a lot of things to do today. I am volunteering for several organizations. Tomorrow is my son's birthday and I am starting a business with much work ahead. But instead of concentrating on these things, I spent four hours listening to my friend who has a crisis. Today she called me in tears and needed me to listen to her (and I proved that my family is more dysfunctional than hers, which I hope lightened her mood). If I were still working with her, there is no way I could have done this for her. At my last job, colleagues spied on each other and noted (to the minute) how long others took for lunch, so I couldn't listen to her as I did today or I'd risk my job. So I don't have a paid job, but no doubt about it: the "work" I'm doing IS meaningful. (Friendship isn't work, of course, but it's how I spent my "working hours" today). Even if it is only important to one person at a time!

Friday I spent the entire day in self-inflicted suffering: A friend posted something negative about stay-at-home Moms who write blogs on Facebook. I felt sorry for myself all day. Do career women really think that women who stay home should be ashamed of themselves? Apparently some do. It ruined my entire Friday. The biggest detriment to women isn't that so many of us stay home and perform traditional roles.  It's that we are openly hostile to one another. No matter what we think, we do not need to judge one another for our circumstances. (This holds true for so many things.) Sometimes our roles are conscious choices, sometimes fate has brought us where we are. Sometimes it's a bit of both. With all the reflection this weekend on who we were 10 years ago, I need to jump off the animosity superhighway. 10 Years Ago today I was fully on the other side of the working-mom scale. 10 years ago Saturday I was flying back from a business trip in Brussels, and I only by lu...