Learning from each other
The girls have their squabbles. A while back my daughter had a series of falling outs with a certain friend. In trying to be non-partisan I actually took the other girl's side against my own daughter. My daughter still resents this and thinks that I will never take her side again. But this blog isn't about that incident.
This blog is about learning from that incident.
I am REALLY rather mad at my friend. One of my friends chose today to go skiing. We spoke about today's ski date every single day this week. Plans made, confirmed, reconfirmed and reconfirmed again. Every detail agonized over (do we stay overnight, don't we, who is renting skis, lessons, who is driving with whom, where we meet and when).
Then she called about 45 minutes before we were going to meet and canceled.
She said it was her daughter who was on the fence about going - but I could tell by her voice that it was her.
I was mad. She chose both the date and the location to suit her needs. (I would have preferred a cheaper alternative, and I wanted to do it in February).
I still am mad, and since this happened this morning I think I am within the statue of limitations to be miffed. This morning, I bit my tongue and suggested that we eat breakfast together, was pleasant throughout breakfast - kissed her hello and goodbye, but when she wondered if the girls could sleep over (at my house) I said I wasn't up for it.
Next time someone does or says something my daughter doesn't like. I have to remember that I am not always the best at taking the high road either. I have to remember this feeling. The unpleasant mixture of disappointment and anger. Finally I think I am mad at myself - why didn't I have the balls to say "$%^&*( you" and head to the mountains without her? There was a 3rd friend and her son going too. Why didn't I just say, C'mon C we're heading North!
So maybe when my daughter is mad at a friend (or at me for punishing her) she is also mad at herself? It is important to remember that friendships are full of mixed emotions, varying viewpoints and changing alliances.
Van Morisson's "Day's Like This" just came on the Radio. How appropriate.
This blog is about learning from that incident.
I am REALLY rather mad at my friend. One of my friends chose today to go skiing. We spoke about today's ski date every single day this week. Plans made, confirmed, reconfirmed and reconfirmed again. Every detail agonized over (do we stay overnight, don't we, who is renting skis, lessons, who is driving with whom, where we meet and when).
Then she called about 45 minutes before we were going to meet and canceled.
She said it was her daughter who was on the fence about going - but I could tell by her voice that it was her.
I was mad. She chose both the date and the location to suit her needs. (I would have preferred a cheaper alternative, and I wanted to do it in February).
I still am mad, and since this happened this morning I think I am within the statue of limitations to be miffed. This morning, I bit my tongue and suggested that we eat breakfast together, was pleasant throughout breakfast - kissed her hello and goodbye, but when she wondered if the girls could sleep over (at my house) I said I wasn't up for it.
Next time someone does or says something my daughter doesn't like. I have to remember that I am not always the best at taking the high road either. I have to remember this feeling. The unpleasant mixture of disappointment and anger. Finally I think I am mad at myself - why didn't I have the balls to say "$%^&*( you" and head to the mountains without her? There was a 3rd friend and her son going too. Why didn't I just say, C'mon C we're heading North!
So maybe when my daughter is mad at a friend (or at me for punishing her) she is also mad at herself? It is important to remember that friendships are full of mixed emotions, varying viewpoints and changing alliances.
Van Morisson's "Day's Like This" just came on the Radio. How appropriate.
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