Not quite the Times' quality, but here goes...
My friend is as overwhelmed by motherhood as I am. And she should be - she has twice as many kids as I do, plus a job, both her parents and in-laws in town and they move to a new house about as often as I buy a pair of sneakers.
But, I love her and always read the stuff she forwards me. She sent me This Blog from the NY Times recently.
Now, I ain't no NY Times bloggista and I don't have the balls to try! But here's my own attempt at a similar list.
What have I learned so far? In my 11 years, 4 months and 5 days in parenthood.
Mothering is a work in progress (and evaluations are subjective)!!!
Your parents and parents-in-law don't always know best. You're allowed to do things differently from them, well meant as their advice is.
Kids make marriage harder.
It's OK that your kids don't follow in your path - your hobbies aren't necessarily theirs.
Volunteer at school. It's the best way to know what's really going on.
If you think your kid has an issue, it's up to the parents to hold the school accountable.
Attend at least one board of education meeting per year. It's often an eye-opener and you never know what surprise you'll hear.
Yes, you can combine a career and kids. Some women do it better than others. It helps to have an extra tight support network. You can also stay at home. You need a network then too. Workers-out-of-the-home and Stay-at-homers need to try to judge less and understand more. The former are not egomaniacs and the latter aren't lazy!
You can survive on very little sleep.
Never underestimate the convenience of a minivan.
Don't tell others how to parent unless you want to be told yourself.
Racism is everywhere! Point it out when you see it, and remind kids why it's wrong. Send your kid to a church or temple that you don't attend. They learn (hopefully) religious tolerance.
Get to know the other parents on the team, in the club, or at the activities - you never know what alliances you may form.
Sometimes an ER visit isn't necessary.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO CLEAN THE KIDS' PLATES IF THEY DON'T FINISH THEIR FOOD! (I'd be 20 pounds lighter if I knew that 10 years ago).
Kids can do a lot of the work when you get a puppy. The responsibility is good for them.
For every 2 hours of skiing, kids need a hot chocolate. Taking kids skiing is a bigger workout for Mom in the beginning, so stretch before and after.
The girl scouts is better organized than the boy scouts.
Hold on to friends who knew you before you had kids. They know a different side of you, and sometimes it's helpful to be reminded who you were way back when.
The honor of being class mom is overrated.
You can travel to cool places with your kids. Having kids does not mean that the adventure has to stop. It makes their lives richer. Kids can manage both a car trip and a long plane ride. They handle jet lag better than adults. When you travel, write your cell phone number (and flight information) on his/her arm.
There isn't always an appropriate punishment. Sometimes the best punishment is no punishment, other times... throw the book at 'em.
When kids get picky with food (at about 18 months) push them to keep eating the foods they liked last week. It's easier than trying to get them to eat veggies at age 10.
Forgive yourself.
You can't pick your kids' friends, and you can't force them to stay friends forever. Mediate at your own risk! If you do, you risk harming your own relationship with your kids. Your kids may interpret your actions as "You like her (the friend) better than me (your daughter)". That's not something they forgive and forget. They resent the friend more, and lose trust in you. (And the friend's parents probably aren't taking your kid's side...)
Traditions are important. Every year we make gingerbread houses from scratch in my kitchen with another family. It's a ton of work, but it is always worth it.
It's important to have unscheduled fun. Blow off soccer practice for ice cream once in a while.
I'll never be as good as my thinner, blonder, nicer, younger, better sister-in-law. (You'll never be as thin, blond, nice, young, etc. in the eyes of someone in your life too).
Dare to let your kids out of your sight. Independence is a vital characteristic!
It's OK to make your own list - you have learned stuff and it's ok not to agree with mine, or the NY Times lady's, or your neighbor's, your sister-in-law's, etc....
But, I love her and always read the stuff she forwards me. She sent me This Blog from the NY Times recently.
Now, I ain't no NY Times bloggista and I don't have the balls to try! But here's my own attempt at a similar list.
What have I learned so far? In my 11 years, 4 months and 5 days in parenthood.
Mothering is a work in progress (and evaluations are subjective)!!!
Your parents and parents-in-law don't always know best. You're allowed to do things differently from them, well meant as their advice is.
Kids make marriage harder.
It's OK that your kids don't follow in your path - your hobbies aren't necessarily theirs.
Volunteer at school. It's the best way to know what's really going on.
If you think your kid has an issue, it's up to the parents to hold the school accountable.
Attend at least one board of education meeting per year. It's often an eye-opener and you never know what surprise you'll hear.
Yes, you can combine a career and kids. Some women do it better than others. It helps to have an extra tight support network. You can also stay at home. You need a network then too. Workers-out-of-the-home and Stay-at-homers need to try to judge less and understand more. The former are not egomaniacs and the latter aren't lazy!
You can survive on very little sleep.
Never underestimate the convenience of a minivan.
Don't tell others how to parent unless you want to be told yourself.
Racism is everywhere! Point it out when you see it, and remind kids why it's wrong. Send your kid to a church or temple that you don't attend. They learn (hopefully) religious tolerance.
Get to know the other parents on the team, in the club, or at the activities - you never know what alliances you may form.
Sometimes an ER visit isn't necessary.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO CLEAN THE KIDS' PLATES IF THEY DON'T FINISH THEIR FOOD! (I'd be 20 pounds lighter if I knew that 10 years ago).
Kids can do a lot of the work when you get a puppy. The responsibility is good for them.
For every 2 hours of skiing, kids need a hot chocolate. Taking kids skiing is a bigger workout for Mom in the beginning, so stretch before and after.
The girl scouts is better organized than the boy scouts.
Hold on to friends who knew you before you had kids. They know a different side of you, and sometimes it's helpful to be reminded who you were way back when.
The honor of being class mom is overrated.
You can travel to cool places with your kids. Having kids does not mean that the adventure has to stop. It makes their lives richer. Kids can manage both a car trip and a long plane ride. They handle jet lag better than adults. When you travel, write your cell phone number (and flight information) on his/her arm.
There isn't always an appropriate punishment. Sometimes the best punishment is no punishment, other times... throw the book at 'em.
When kids get picky with food (at about 18 months) push them to keep eating the foods they liked last week. It's easier than trying to get them to eat veggies at age 10.
Forgive yourself.
You can't pick your kids' friends, and you can't force them to stay friends forever. Mediate at your own risk! If you do, you risk harming your own relationship with your kids. Your kids may interpret your actions as "You like her (the friend) better than me (your daughter)". That's not something they forgive and forget. They resent the friend more, and lose trust in you. (And the friend's parents probably aren't taking your kid's side...)
Traditions are important. Every year we make gingerbread houses from scratch in my kitchen with another family. It's a ton of work, but it is always worth it.
It's important to have unscheduled fun. Blow off soccer practice for ice cream once in a while.
I'll never be as good as my thinner, blonder, nicer, younger, better sister-in-law. (You'll never be as thin, blond, nice, young, etc. in the eyes of someone in your life too).
Dare to let your kids out of your sight. Independence is a vital characteristic!
It's OK to make your own list - you have learned stuff and it's ok not to agree with mine, or the NY Times lady's, or your neighbor's, your sister-in-law's, etc....
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