What color is my parachute...

I just plugged "What do I want to be?" into Google. It was amazing how slowly results emerged. (Not to mention how useless the results were - but c'mon, did I really think google would have the answer to that?) If I redo the search with "I feel lucky" it gives me this link.

I am realizing that I must go back to work. Every month I stay home we go more into debt. While I think my husband thinks I waste money every day, other than frequent restaurant lunches, I buy very little for myself. The vast majority of money spent goes to food and the kids (activities, clothes, supplies, toys, birthday gifts, etc.).

But I don't know WHAT to do. T is completely against me going back to school (mostly financial reasons, but he thinks it is wasteful since I already have an expensive education) but recently I have been considering teaching. When I was in college and should have gotten teaching certification, I thought I would hate it. My Mom was a teacher for 10 years and she really HATED it. While many of my blogs praise her spirit and wit, like many daughters, I am afraid of becoming my mother. What if I go back to school at significant expense (not to mention the possible peripheral damage to my marriage) and find it isn't for me?

Oh I don't know!

T wants me to stay home OR to bring in a six figure salary. At my best I haven't even earned half that.

Teaching wouldn't bring in that kind of money, especially at first. It would be a stressful job. No one says, "Oh, I'm a teacher and it's soooo easy!" Most of my friends who teach find it extraordinarily rewarding - I think they find it more rewarding than my friends with more financially fruitful jobs. And no one I know who works in any non-profit industry feels that their job makes a big difference. Was teaching the right color for this parachute??? Maybe it wasn't.

When I was a student the strategy was "study what you love and the money will follow".

Who knew that was such bad advice?! Better advice would have been "figure out what you want and then find a away to attain it."

Hopefully it's not too late to do just that!

Comments

Espen S. said…
Unfortunately I do not have a specific advice.
I guess only support, in the sense that I recognize how you feel.
I shouldn´t complain, I know. But even with a good job, the feeling of "is this really what you want to do" has only grown.
And while the answer to my own question may be "no", my problem is the same as yours - I have no idea what else I would like to do (at least that would also pay my mortgage, food, gasoline, travels and so on...).

Guess all I can do is send you supporting and caring thoughts, letting you know that at least you are not alone...

Best wishes,
Espen :-)

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