Monday Mom time???
As some of you know, I am taking a class at Raritan Valley Community College. It is just for my own enjoyment. What a geek - taking US History for fun? What am I? Nuts?
Well I would be if I could go. The class is once a week from 3pm-6pm and is only about 10 minutes from my house. N is in aftercare, C goes to TKD when i can get her a ride. But the last 3 classes I've had to miss because of commitments for my kids.
It shouldn't bother me - I have chosen to not work to manage them - but it does. It's expensive, but I like it.
I resent it a little bit when I've missed 3 classes in a row. The professor has a wife who apparently is a stay-at-home Mom too, but there is only so patient he can be. I can't help it that C got sent home with a fever one week, and I decided I needed to stay home to monitor how sick she was. I can't help that when I got a doctors appointment for a specialist that I had to wait several weeks to see, her first appointment was Monday at 2:45 in Hunterdon county. One class I just "skipped" (I can't remember why). I regularly leave early to make aftercare or to pick up a kid somewhere.
Yes, yesterday I could have made some of the class - the last 45 minutes or so, but I felt it would have been too disruptive and rude.
Now I wish I'd sucked it up and shown up - if only for a few minutes, since I didn't go because of my worry for others' feelings and not my own needs.
C asked me today what my life would be like if I hadn't ever had kids. It is hard to imagine, but I think there is one constant - I would still be putting others first. Not in the noble way: joining the Peace Corps, nor volunteering at a local shelter, but in the "you take your lunch now, I'll take mine later" (as my stomach growls). Or, "no dear, we can see the movie YOU want, I'll see this foreign flick another night". The passive woman way.
Haven't I learned anything from history???