Sunday, May 16, 2010
On being one of "those" kinds of Moms
Tonight I looked at myself in the mirror and wondered "et tu Soccer Mom?". But I shrugged and said "nah". Here are two examples:
Yesterday I actually called a coach and complained that my daughter hadn't played enough in the last two games (and it pained me to do so because I love the coaches). Well.. those weren't my exact words. In fact I was calling to find out if my daughter had been misbehaving and if THAT was why she played so little. I was ready to discipline her if necessary. Perhaps she wasn't playing well enough in their eyes to warrant time on the field? Sometimes she just doesn't hustle and she isn't very aggressive for being a black belt! But I think the message ended up being "can ya play my kid more" when the message really was "what did she do wrong now?" He didn't tell me to Fuck Off so I feel a bit better.
Today I blew off C's soccer game to help N with his "invention convention" project. For this I was accused (by more than one of my friends) of doing the project for him. A text message came from the field by a very concerned parent wondering if I thought I'd get an A.
For the record - of course I probably did more than I should have. But since N can't drive, I had to take him to the store to get certain materials. Then since N couldn't (or wouldn't pay for said materials) out came a credit card - in this case it was Grandpa's - but you get the point. T sacrificed some tools, but otherwise we had to buy a few supplies - under $10 total... the tool was probably $20 when T purchased it several years ago, but I am sure T is happy to replace it with a newer, cooler, better model or he wouldn't have made such a choice.
I decided to blatantly copy my friend's idea. No, not the invention (her son made a pancake cutter, N made a snack mixer - hence the $10 was for goodies) but that she made a poster of how EJ made his project. This required a parent's help. I took the pictures downloaded them and printed them. And it would take him 7 hours to type everything - so he dictated, I typed. If C were here she could have helped with this part, but she was at soccer, as I said before. And Mom types the fastest of everyone in the house (texting speed goes to C, of course!)
Then in making the poster I did offer several pointers - like don't glue the pictures until it is all laid out (something he was "reminded of" a number of times)... and I suggested that he needed to explain the order of events.
And in the end, I did separate the snacks into baggies so he could manage them tomorrow. And I did the clean up! But dinner was burning so I needed the table ASAP.
The idea wasn't mine. I did guide him along. Several of my ideas got outright vetoed (like mixing cereal instead of snacks especially since I bought a ton of cereal hoping he would change his mind)
He's only going to go to a college where I can rent an apartment just off campus. He'll go to class and I'll do the research for his papers and type them for him. I'll bone up on bibliography styles and the latest in footnotes. I'm going helicopter shopping next weekend.
PS - You can juxtapose this to Saturday night when it almost felt like 1979. In the 70s and 80s our neighbors would gather on warm nights and play Ghost in the Graveyard, Neighborhood Hide and Go Seek, kickball and other games. We called it night games. We figured it out on our own - and everyone LOVED it.
Last night I offered to let the kids invite all the neighbors over. And when they didn't get along, I let them figure it out on their own, while praying no one would sue us if anyone got hurt. It's still 2010!