Mixed feelings

Its another one of those days when I should be on top of the world but wondering how I got to this place and feeling like life is passing me by. It's also the continuing saga of my love-hate relationship with Facebook. It's been nothing short of miraculous to be back in touch with so many people. I have well over 300 so-called friends. Some are close, some are distant. The vast majority were people I had lost and am so grateful to have found. I don't live a life where I bump into people from outside of Bridgewater very often (bumped into one of my brother's friends at a hotel in New York last summer, but that is the only one I can think of offhand). So this has been an amazing tool to be in contact with my previous lives.

Whenever I get a new friend I pour through their facebook page, checking out their info (what they've been doing since I last saw them in 1985, where are they working, did they dare put their home address, etc.) and looking at their pictures. Sometimes it takes 30 seconds, sometimes an hour.

This week I have 3 new friends. One of my daughter's friends has friended me! She does not live in Bridgewater. What I think about kids on these types of sites is another blog topic... Another person who friended me was the minister of my church who performed my wedding, confirmation and was a great, laid-back minister.

Another is my former neighbor, JK. He was a popular senior when I was a dorky freshman in high school. But for as long as I can remember I thought he was really nice. His facebook page included a link to his professional website. Holy moly - he is a true-blue film director!!! There are a bunch of examples of his work, much of it from places like Carribean islands. Seeing his work made me wonder what the hell I've been doing since I last saw him around 1986... he is definitely in the top 10 cool jobs category!

I never cease to be amazed by my facebook friends! One is a speech-writer for a political party, another just got back from doing research for her PhD in Senegal and others are just living exotically: a French guy in China, a friend running marketing for a fabric company, another friend seems to be in the process of moving from a big US city to the country-side in Oregon on a quest for a simple life (organic gardening, meditation, etc.). Others are stay-at-home Moms like me. Another is trying to redefine her life after losing her fiance to cancer.

I wonder what people see when they read my FB page for the first time. I'm on it often enough that they probably think "she's got way too much time on her hands". But mostly I'm reading what other people are thinking and doing day to day. Sometimes people write things like, "My kid threw up on all 4 bathroom walls". Other times it is news of births, deaths, college acceptances, moves. Sometimes someone says something really funny. Sometimes really sad.

In the end, it doens't really matter what other people think of me or my Facebook page. I'm the one who has to live with it. That's the great thing about Facebook. You can "like" something, but if you don't like something there is no "dislike" buttton!

If only all of life were like that: you can only LIKE something.

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