What to wear, what to do, how to be...

I've been reflecting on my writings lately, specifically on two blog entries - one about what I should or shouldn't be wearing and one about who I have become. They are both pretty harsh on myself. But looking back at who I was, I forget there is one common denominator (other than harsh). I have been always interested in women's issues. I've always thought of myself as the f-word.


I know what some of you are thinking: being a stay-at-home Mom and a feminist is an oxymoron. If you read Betty Friedan, you can't imagine that you can be both. And sometimes when I am making my husband's dinner (well, I guess I'd be eating it too) when I would rather eat out or when I feel like my life is consumed in endless and meaningless laundry (T does his own laundry, neither helping nor adding to the load), I wonder where my belief in equality have gone.

This morning I heard the President of NOW speak on NPR. Although I haven't been paying attention lately - and so I didn't even know her name (!!!), I certainly still believe her message is valid. Equality is still a long way off. Pay, leadership, medical coverage, images in the media, even in small subtle ways there is discrimination. How many women run a Fortune 500? How many run a country (you can probably count current female heads of state on two hands - other than Ireland, Iceland and Finland, I can't think of a single one, and maybe Iceland and England aren't in office anymore???).

But is my staying home sending my daughter a negative (if subliminal) message? Are financial equality and opportunity are passing me by because I have chosen to be home? Should I have run for BOE as a stepping stone to a statewide, then national office? (NO WAY is the answer to that rhetorical question).

When I was in college I was involved in the women's movement - I even marched on Washington for a pro-choice rally. I met Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem and I heard other feminists, such as Yolanda King (I think - or was it her Mom?) and Naomi Wolfe speak. But nowadays I can't be bothered - I'm too busy driving kids places or grocery shopping, knitting. I don't even think about inequality.

After hearing the NPR piece I went to NOW's website and found their Love Your Body campaign. What can you do? Here's a link to a list of things you can do to love your body. Don't worry -I'm not going to invite you to play affirmation games as we wait for our kids at TKD or soccer! Some of it is corny - but other things, like reading magazines with positive images of women, I am willing to do. (I guess I am also blogging about it, which is on their list, but I just noticed it now, so it doesn't count).

But body image doesn't mean I am going to stop exercising. Although my flabby stomach does bother me, my bad genes bother me more (I've got plenty of cancer and heart attacks in the
But I don't have to feel quite as guilty about finishing the entire serving of phad kee mao from Thai Kitchen II.

And I won't feel guilty about blowing off my husband for an evening with my girlfriend.

Friendships are the cornerstone of my past life. Being a good feminist means being a good girlfriend.

Now about that Supreme Court opening......... "Dear Pres, Don't screw this up! Signed Bridgewater soccer Mom" Maybe I can be both an active feminist and a stay-at-home Mom.


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